Ups & Downs
by Moxie19
Summary: Follow Yamato's steps through life, love and tragedy. Taito. Never fear, an update is here!
1. First Greetings

Disclaimer: Digimon is not mine. Song not mine.

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**Ups And Downs**

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**Chapter 1**

Taichi Yagami... what can I say about him?  He was outgoing, spoke his mind and spoke it loudly so that everyone knew what was on his mind.  He wasn't afraid to stand up for himself and wasn't afraid to take a risk… right from the beginning… _I hated him._

He was the thorn in my side, the pain in my ass.  He was the one person in life I could truly say I hated.  And I did say it.  Quite frequently, in fact.  Loudly and proudly.  And what was worse… people liked him.

I didn't understand how, either.  How could _anyone like _someone_ like that?  It dumbfounded me just thinking about it.  He walked through a hall at our old high school and he'd get high fives and childish 'thumps ups' from the majority of the students.  Girls would go up and offer hugs to him, giggle a bit, talk, and walk away.  But don't get me wrong, I wasn't jealous.  I was just flabbergasted by his popularity.  It was like I was the only one who saw the rude, arrogant, prick underneath._

Not like I didn't have my friends.  I had a band with three other people.  We were reasonably popular among those who liked rock music.  It wasn't hard rock where we'd scream till our face turned red and our voice grew hoarse, threatening our ability to speak the next day, but it was rock.  The kind of rock that tells a story, with meaning behind the words other then sex.

It was too bad so much of my school preferred R&B over rock.  I didn't care for that stuff.  R&B, that is.  It was this that set me apart and was one of the reasons Yagami and I argued and hated each other so much.  Though, maybe what started our hatred towards each other has something to do with the first time we met.

It wasn't a traditional meeting where someone I knew wanted me to meet his knew friend or visa versa.  It wasn't where we just happened to bump into each other at some random location.  It was more like him bumping into me.

Now, at the time, I knew who the famous, or for me infamous, Taichi Yagami was.  It was hard for someone at the school to not know who the jock was, for the plain reason of him being a jock.  I knew as much as most did about him at that point.  He played sports.  Every kind of sports but his favorite was soccer.  He was going out with little miss goody girl, Sora.  Tai wasn't a virgin, or maybe that was a rumor at that time, I wasn't sure but didn't care much either.  He didn't care much about his appearance and he was band from going to the hair dresser after an incident a year before we met.  He had a sister and two parents.  Parents of different genders, I might add.  A traditional family.  A _perfect_ family.  He had a pet, what kind of pet; I hadn't known at that time and didn't really care either.  This was all I knew about him.

We met on our first day of grade eleven.  I can remember every fiber of that day, every face I saw is clear in my memory and every emotion still vibrant when I remember it.  I remember that the day was muggy, uncomfortably so, which probably had something to do with my temper that day.  It was also going to rain, the forecast had said.  But that isn't important.

I had got to school at a reasonable time, walked in through the large brown double doors that stood large at the top of the five cement steps.  The halls of the school were lined with brown lockers, all of which stood about six feet tall.  The halls, as usual, were crowded with students who all loitered expectantly in little packs, talking about this and that, nothing of importance.  After all, how many fifteen and sixteen year olds talk about things all that life threatening unless, maybe, if they were supposed to safe the world from some hideous monsters, but what's the chance of that?

Anyways, I had always been really thin; the guidance office thought I was anorexic at a time in fact, so it was easy for me to maneuver around the pupils who stood in the hall.  I was at my locker in no time and putting in my combination when a weight collided into my side and I was knocked to the ground.  Shocked and slightly angered, I looked around and saw Taichi on his backside laughing and holding a football high above his head.

I remember he had shouted, "Told you I'd get it.  You owe me ten bucks."  I've been told before that when I become angry, and I mean really angry, I turn a bright color of red and how it's really vibrant because of my pale skin tone.  Well, I'm about to turn that color.

"And _you owe _me_ something for just knocking me down."  I snapped.  He turned his head and only spared me a glance._

"Oh."  He said as he stood up and dusted himself.  "Didn't see ya, man?"  Then he forgot about me and ran off into the crowd leaving me to retrieve my back pack that had landed in the middle of the hall where it had fallen when he knocked me over.

I had a quick temper so, least to say, I got mad and tempted to run after him and demand an apology or _something but didn't see it as something that would mean anything if given an hour to cool off… but I wasn't given an hour._

I turned back to my locker, breathing in deep and letting the air out slowly then repeating the process.  I opened my locker and started taking out my books from my back pack in order from the ones at the front till the one at the back and resting them in my locker.  It was a part of a process I had.  Every night I organized my books so that I could put them in my locker in order from the ones I took out first to the ones for last period.  Then every school morning before classes I put them into my locker taking them out of my backpack in the opposite order in which I had put them in.  I've been told I was crazy because it just gave me extra work but I never saw it like that.

I only had three minutes between classes to go to my locker, get my books and head to my next class and I had too many books to carry around all day since each class I had a different binder for, so I had to put them in my locker neatly so I could grab the ones I needed without hassle and head to my next class quickly.  Juro had said I was a neat freak but I just like being organized

So, anyways, I was finishing this process when the locker beside mine gets tugged open and someone seems to dive into it as they try to dig through to get there books.  Unfortunately the lockers are kind of small and his shoulder bump into my locker door, which bumps into my arms, which knocks over the pile of books and binders I've just set neatly on the top shelve, which, in turn, causes them to fall back onto the shelve it's self and out of order.  Nothing all that terrible and I could fix it in a moment or so.  I would have thought nothing of it if I wasn't already angry and if it wasn't the same guy who made me angry in the first place… or if he had apologized properly, but he hadn't and I could feel my temper start to rise through the roof.

"Hey."  I said, my anger showing through.  "You just made me knock over all my books."  As I said this I opened my locker fully, again, which knocked into his shoulder.

He glanced at me briefly again and gave me a quick, "Sorry, man."  Before paying his locker more attention as he closed it and locked it.

That's when my face turned red.  "Do you have any idea how long it took me to organize all my books like that, and now you just messed them up."  I growled, letting on how angry I was.  "But I guess you don't since, from what I just saw of your locker on your _first day, you must be a horrendous slob."  Now I got his attention.  He was looking at me, shocked, in the midst of walking away.  I had my hands fisted and resting on my hips while my blue eyes narrowed on his brown ones._

Seeing all my anger was directed at him he turned towards me as the shock wore off.  "Hey, I just gave you an apology even _though I didn't do nothing."   I remember picking up on the double negative he had used in his sentence._

"Your right about that.  '_Didn't do nothing.'"  I had mumbled._

He growled, becoming angry with my accusations.  "And you're the klutz who messing up your own stuff!"  He said his voice was growing louder in his anger.

I spluttered.  "Klutz?  You jackass.  You shoved the locker door into my arm.  That caused my books to fall over."

"Bullshit I did!  I didn't even touch your locker!  I wasn't even near it!"

"Your lockers beside mine, idiot.  In order for you to have those books in your arms, there," I said pointing to the mentioned objects, "You would have _had_ to go near my locker."

Taichi's voice had risen almost to a shout when he said.  "_You're the idiot!!"  The Brunet had been about to shout something else when the sound of someone clearing their throat alerted us to the teacher and the on watchers that were there.  The teacher raised an eyebrow at us both then and I had understood he wanted an explanation for the shouting.  Instead of giving one I let my arms drop to my sides and Taichi stood up tall as he snorted at me and I gave him a glare.  Tai stormed off down the hall and I fixed the books in my locker, grabbed the ones I needed and headed off down the hall after closing my locker, of course in the opposite direction then Brunet had gone._

And thus our rivalry had begun and it had in no way gotten better from there.  If I were in a library, with a book in my hand he would mock it, and say I had no taste and that my clothing choice reflected this.  Of course I would find away to tell him he didn't know how to read and he'd get defensive as well, which would turn this into a large argument.  Things like that would happen all the time and we both swore our hatred towards each other an uncountable amount of times.

I remember hearing once, that you have to love someone before you can hate them.  In fact it was _that_ year of school that I had heard this saying.  My Japanese teacher quoted it sometime during that school year and I remember that it was Taichi's face that surfaced in my mind then.  I had scoffed at the saying, exclaiming that you didn't even have to like the person to hate them.

Taichi was in the class with me, as well.  It was the first time we'd ever agreed on something. We had both gotten detention for that… not for sharing are opinions but more for the language we had used while giving examples.

I remember that evening, being kept after school, teacher at the front of the class reading a book called 'Les Miserables'.  I read it years later, while I was at university.  It's why I could still remember what the book the teacher was reading is called.  I read it because it was that teacher who suggested it.

But back to the point.  I was sitting in the middle row writing an assignment that was given to me the moment I walked into the class.  Taichi was beside me writing roughly on his sheet.  He had a pencil sharpener next to him that the teacher gave him after the third time he had broken his led.  He blamed me for the detention and I blamed him.  Don't ask me how it was his fault I got a detention or how it was my fault for getting him a detention?  It just was.  Back then it was logic we lived by.

But he was furious since he was missing a soccer practice and I was quite glad he was.  Though I wasn't a person to cut off my nose to spite my face.  No.  I would have preferred if he was not in the detention with me since every time he sharpened his pencil the sound gritted against my nerves.  Every time he sighed, and breathed I was tempted to strangle him.  It was just that I was glad he was missing something he liked since I was missing my band practice as well.

I don't think he knew I was in a band then, which is why I was calmer and more collected then he.  I knew he was missing something he loved and he was sending me looks that were meant to intimidate me.  He even grew angrier whenever I returned his looks with a, somewhat, malicious grin.

We both looked to the front of the class when the teacher stood, picking up his empty mug, and walked out of the class leaving the two of us alone.  Simultaneously we both looked back down at our assignments.

I continued as I had been but he was different.  His posture was different in the sense that he was no longer hovering over his sheet of paper menacingly.  He now sat with his back more upright, like mine though not as much, and he was making some effort to not carve into the desk, threw the paper, with his pencil.  He still had kept his head down but not as much as it had been previously.  And when he spoke it was with an air of calmness.  Not the calmness you'd experience at night while camping out by a lake or something of the sort.  It was more like the calmness before a storm.

"So…" He had started innocently.  "What's the name of the color you dye your hair with?"  The only sign that you could see from me that showed how much the statement affected me was in my writing, how, by accident, I had crossed out the symbol I had only just written but before I could retort he added, "And a friend of mine had wondered if you dye both top and bottom.  She was really curious."  I remember how a friend of mind told me then when I become humiliated a pink flush covers my cheekbones and makes it look as if I were wearing makeup.  I remember a guy telling me it was cute though the comment, at the time, didn't help my state at all.  That was the color I must have turned then.  But the embarrassment turned to anger a second later.

"I don't dye my hair and let it all dry out. Unlike you I do care if I look like shit."  I paused for a moment as he turns around to look at me, ready to retort, but before he could, I added, "And as for your friend… I bet she's you."  I made my voice sound sweet, then winked at him and kissed the air to sharpen the insult I had given him.

Taichi's eyes had shown with murder upon me saying that and I had fully expected him to jump out of his seat and try to kill me, but instead he turned back to his work and said, "I think you should deflate your head and get back to work."  I remember I had something to say to that, that it was good and probably would have turned him homicidal… I also remember hating how I didn't say it because the teacher then walked back into the class, retook his seat at the front of the room, put his now full mug down and got back to reading.

I can't remember what it was I was going to say but I remember the remorse I felt for not saying it.  Or maybe it was the remorse for letting Taichi win the argument because just then he had glanced at me, and held my stare with an air of confidence, of superiority.  He grinned in triumph and went back to work.  After that he hadn't needed to use the pencil sharpener at all.

Our arguments had gotten worse from there on.  After that neither one of us wanted to let the other have the final word and we tried to get under each other's skin as much as possible.  Despite all this we never got physical with each other… well, I can't say that.  We had once.

It was in grade twelve, and the two of us were in gym together.  You probably saw that one coming.  Gym class is probably one of the classes that almost anything could happen in.  The class drives your physical strengths and pumps up your adrenalin.  Many outcomes are possible in the class and the control the teacher has is numbered since the class is always huge and spread out in a jumble of rushing teens since the exercises almost always have to do with speed and wide-range movements.

It was a warm day so the teacher had suggested we go outside for the last outside activity of the term.  The teacher had asked us which sport we would like to play.  Taichi had said soccer; I had honestly almost said 'anything but soccer' but knew how stupid that would sound so stayed silent.  But, as I mentioned, Taichi was popular so… soccer it was.

I hated sports and participated as seldom as possible.  In gym I was always picked last, mainly because both teams wanted to win, but I didn't mind.  I felt stupid standing there, though, waiting to be chosen while Taichi openly gloated that he was chosen first and smirked at me while I glared back.  I remember when I was picked I had walked forward and past Taichi.  I had given him a malicious grin and said, though sounding as though I were talking more to myself, "Well… at least I've got my height."  I knew I had struck a nerve with him on that but was already past so I couldn't see for sure.

We lined up on the field as we got ready for the match.  I stood in my usual position when we played soccer.  Far off on the right where the ball was least likely to go.  Taichi stood in the center of the field, waiting for the kick off, and when it had come Taichi was the one who claimed the ball.  I had hesitated in my stance, making sure there was everyone in front of me before I headed after the ball, and then ran.  I wasn't as fast as the majority of the class since I rarely ran outside of gym but I still didn't let myself move any faster then what was above a jog.

Though I hadn't made any kind of an effort I still watched the game and I wasn't surprised by how close Taichi was to my team's net by the time my team had taken the ball away from him.   They ran to the side then kicked the ball across the field to one of my team mates who had started running up field with it.  I stopped and watched as he ran in my general direction with it.  He looked at me as if he was debating passing me the ball since he saw someone on the other team coming at him on the side.  He then shook his head as if he thought himself crazy.  He kicked forward as the boy had tried to steal the ball but tripped my team mate instead and Taichi took the ball instead after he had jumped over the two tumbled boys.

Taichi looked at me and grinned after he stopped the ball and held it down with his foot.  He glanced to his right and saw my team coming at him so he kicked the ball in my direction.  I stopped the ball with my foot and had wondered, briefly, why he'd do that, but that was until I looked up and saw the entire class heading in my direction.  Then I realized why he gave me the ball and glared at him through the rushing crowd.  I kicked the ball from me, towards a team mate, hoping to get it away from me as soon I could.  I succeeded to get it away from me but it missed the one I was kicking it too entirely and, accidentally, got it to the wrong team.

"Nice going Ishida!"  Someone had shouted, I don't remember who and I don't think I knew at the time either but what I did see was that damn grin on Yagami's face as he started running again, joining back up with the game.

In a few moments Taichi had gotten the first score of the game and my team had mourned and glared at me.  Obviously it had been my fault they got the point.  "Great, Ishida!"  Some one else had shouted at me sarcastically.  "We could have gotten that goal if it weren't for you.  It's not often Taichi messes up like that."  I turned to glare at the one who said that and had received five glares in the process.  And as I turned my attention back to the game I saw Tai, smirking deviously

I narrowed my eyes into slits at the Brunet as he got ready to play and this time I really participated.  I was made to look like a fool in front of my entire class and I was _not_ going to let that egoistic block head get away with it.

The goalie kicked the ball to my team and the match started.  The ball had made it half way down the field before Taichi had taken it and turned it around towards my teams net.  Now I ran.  In earnest I ran and I can't ever remember running as fast as I did then.  My feet barely had enough time to touch the ground before they were lifted and I was sent soaring over the ground towards my target.

I think I had surprised people when I had run past them, my long legs stretching to run fast and faster each time.  Now, if I had to beat Taichi in a race…I wouldn't be able to but since he was being slowed down to dodge people I had caught up and was running beside him sooner then I thought.  He glanced at me, stumbled slightly in surprise which gave my enough time to kick the ball away from him and into the hands of another player; from my team might I add.

Taichi glared at me and turned around, ready to ignore me and continue with the game but I wasn't done.

I turned with him and kept close, with in one step, but it wasn't good enough.  Not to do what I wanted anyways.  I wanted to slow him down and make sure he couldn't play, couldn't interfere, so I stepped up my speed.

Taichi was closing in on the person who had the ball when I had run forward and moved so I was partly in front of him then slowed my speed so he had no choice but to slow down or risk penalty by shoving me down.

"Move it, Ishida."

"Bite me, Yagami."  Were our exchange of words.  I remember him growling and I knew I was getting on his last nerve.

He tried moving around me but I just moved back in his way.  He slowed for a second before giving his all to pass me but this time when I had moved in his way I wasn't fast enough and only got my foot trampled on as he fell forward, flat on his face.

A whistle had blown and the game froze as eyes turned to regard the fallen boy.  Taichi was up again, hand on his cheek which had collided with a rock and a bruise had begun to form.  He stared hard at me and I had returned the gaze with the same ferocity.  The teacher walked up to us and stared at Taichi.

"You okay?"  He asked first.  Tai had nodded.  We hadn't broken eye contact at all.  "Good."  Then the teacher said louder so everyone could here.  "There will be a penalty shot.  Taichi will be taking the shot, as the offended, and Yamato will be guarding the net as the offender."  We both nodded but more to each other, excepting the challenge.

A few moments later we had found each other in the midst of everyone's attention.  Taichi stood at a white line that had been sprayed upon the grass with the ball under his one foot and I stood a few feet forward from the net trying to keep my body as sturdy as I could.

The moment the teacher had blown his whistle Taichi kicked the ball gently and took a step forward.  He took another step, quicker this time, and kicked the ball, and another step, quicker yet again.  He kept speeding up, keeping his eyes on my blue ones until he was in a full blown run, charging at me and kicking the ball, he must have been only five feet away from me when he neglected the ball entirely and ran at me.  I brought up my arms as he lunged at me, one arm over my shoulder beside my neck, the other under my arm, both fists tightly locked at my back as he started putting his weight on me trying to shove me down to the ground.

I was doing the same but his weight was more and my knees were bending while I was forced to try to keep myself upright and knock him back.  I was shocked faintly when I felt my self lifted and my feet left the ground.  When I was brought back down it hurt and I was forced to my knees.  I unlocked my arms from around him, readying to go into an offensive mode but then he pulled away from me and held my shoulders so tight then that I had been left with bruises the size of his finger tips.  He brought back his one hand with every intention to punch me but I beat him to it and had socked him in the mouth, cutting his lip.

Blood dripped down his chin and he had been about to do damage to my face in turn when hands started grabbing him and holding him back, obviously more worried about what he'd do to me then I'd do to him.  It angered me slightly yet I hadn't let it get to me.

The teacher got in between us as I stood up, unsteady at first upon realizing how much my feet had gotten hurt before but had gained my balance upon seeing the angered yet confused looks we were receiving from our teacher.

"What's wrong with you two?"  He asked.  Neither of us had answered his question, just glared at each other.  His hand had raised and wiped the blood from his chin which smeared it over his tanned skin.  My hand raised and lightly touched my bruised shoulder.  "Fine.  You don't want to talk, take it up with the office."  Then the man waved his hand through the air to dismiss us.  The hands had left Taichi and the two of us walked to the office with a final warning about not fighting on the way or we'd get expelled.

Tai's and my relationship didn't get any better from there, either.  We hadn't gotten physical again, though; our arguments were still pretty bad.  I suppose after that we had gotten a name for our selves with the school… well, at least my name was added to the book since Taichi's had already been there.  People had started expecting us to argue after that and said we bickered like an old married couple.  Neither of us paid attention to those who said that, and there wasn't a day that went by where my hatred towards him hadn't grown.

I remember celebrating when Sora publicly broke up with Taichi for a kid named Jyou, which was quite the change if I do say so myself.  I remember how my anger fumed when the soccer team had won in the final game of the year.  Taichi had gotten the plaque for the team as well which added to the fire.

I had really hit the music and wrote tones of anger filled songs those two years.  My bands popularity grew as my writing skills enhanced and I was writing lyrics every night while I did my homework or listened to music or did anything, even in class sometimes.  I still have lyrics I never let anyone know about because I liked the emotion I was putting into them and kept them secret so no one could repeat the style of them.  I know imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery but there are some forms of flattery for some things I'd prefer to not receive.  And that remains till this day.

I loved prom because it was my band that was there singing the majority of the songs.  We even had a few songs that were legible for slow dances but when I was off stage waiting to be back on I had someone to dance with, though I think this was because I was the lead vocalist.  They always get the popularity.

Taichi and I had managed to stay out of each other's hair on that night.  I remember I had been wearing a white tux that my father had taken me out to get.  It was the first thing my father and I had done together in years.

The night, over all, was good.  Graduation was better though because it meant I wasn't going to see the brown poof head again.  I had sat in one of the middle rows and listened to the whole ceremony in anticipation.  Finally, after what felt like forever, they called us up for our diplomas.  We were all congratulated, did the famous hat toss before we were aloud to socialize and it wasn't long before I found myself standing face to face with Taichi Yagami.

"Well…"  He had said.

"Well, I guess this is far well."  I said as monotonously as he had while offering my hand for him to shake.

He took it in his and we squeezed each other harder then necessary as he nodded.  "I suppose this is."  He said, sounding as if he had anticipated and practiced this meeting.  He didn't even turn his head as his name was called by, whom I had assumed to be his mother.  We broke off our hand shake and nodded to each other.  Are expressions were both intense and carefully monitored to prevent any emotion from breaking through.

"Don't die from any ailment."  I said, my voice sounding slightly more cheerful.

"I won't as long as you don't drop the soap in jail too often."  And with those final words of departure we turned on each other and walked away.

Now life is funny, you see.  If I had never seen Taichi Yagami again, I would have lived.  I hadn't minded being apart from him and I assume he didn't mind being away from me.  I moved onto University and took the chef course there while he moved to some college and kept up with his soccer, though I'm not sure of what he majored in since he never discussed it.

My band had disbanded in my second year of University since by then our work had to be prioritized and the band wasn't a priority.  I was still living at home at that point in time but was considering moving out and had been searching for a job.

It was also this time that I had started to notice something about myself… how I never had a girlfriend and never wanted a girlfriend.  I also wondered if it was normal for me to notice things about other guys…

One evening I had visited a soccer match that our school was having with a community college.  My friend was on the team so I promised I would be there, so there I was.  I was sitting in the second top row with a large navy blue coat wrapped around me and my binder opened on my lap as I worked and glanced up now and then to watch the game.  Blue fuzzy ear muffs were over my ears and muffling some of the noise so I could concentrate easier on my assignment.

At one time during the game I had looked up as my friend was about to shoot but before he could, someone had taken the ball away and suddenly, in horror, I realized who the boy from the other team had been.

You probably can imagine who they were and trust me I was surprised beyond belief to see him… and angry at the powers-that-be for having me go to this damn game.  After that I hadn't paid much attention to my work and watched the game, or more precisely, Taichi.  I was watching his every move, waiting for him to fall on his face or something.  I had cursed profusely when he won, though what caught me off guard was when he looked into the stands the moment he scored and met my eyes with the gloating grin I remembered to firmly.

My anger had flared up, as it had done many times while I was in high school, and I had been brought aware of the fact that he knew I was there all along.  I had glowered at him and watched as his grin widened.

It had been then that his team surrounded him; congratulating him on the final score and celebrating in there overly excited way.  While the fans started to leave the benches I began putting my binder away, keeping it at the very front on my backpack to remind me later that that was the homework I had already started.  I got up and walked down the stands gracefully.

When my feet were firm on the ground I looked out into the field, my one hand held my backpack fixed to my shoulder while the other one hung loosely at my side.  I saw my friend head solemnly off the field with his team.  He turned to me, gave me a quick wave.  I waved back and hoped he could see my sympathetic smile I put on for him before looked directly a head and seeing Taichi walking towards me.

I remember how I took my one hand and removed my ear muffs and placed them inside my pocket.  "So, we meet again."  He had said.

"Looks like it.  Shame to that."  I was about to say something when Taichi's name started being called profusely.  I scowled at the thought that he was still as popular as in high school.

Taichi turned his head and looked at a boy who had a bronze-ish hair color which had been spiked.  "Hey Tai," He had said in a hyper manner.  "I saw your lost score, it was awesome, though all of them were, I mean your scores and…"

"Gee, thanks Daisuke."  Then he looked at me.  "He's a fan.  He says he wants to be just like me."  Taichi gloated.

"And, yet again, shame to that."  I remember how the kid did a double take of me before grinning.

"Hey, are you one of Taichi's friends?"  I grinned.

"Yup.  We've been best friends for years, right Tai-kun."  Taichi opened his and, from what I saw of the look on his face, what he was about to say would have been incredibly rude but Daisuke spoke before he could.

"Really!  Wow.  You must know a lot about him.  Was he this cool when he was in high school?"

"Well," I said, not being able to resist the opportunity.  "At the beginning he was, but after this girl broke up with him… she kind off…" I formed my fingers into the shape of scissors and made snipping motions.  "Cut off his…Yeah."  I had concluded when Daisuke winced and looked at Taichi's crotch with a sorrowful look.  I nearly broke out laughing at the embarrassment Taichi wore on his face before anger over took it.

"No, Yama-kun.  I think you're remembering you sex operation.  You know?  The time you became a guy."  Daisuke turned to me and looked at me, shocked, but I already had a come back in mind.

"Well, it got you, didn't it?"  I then winked at the Brunet and I think that was the first time I had ever seen Taichi Yagami blush.  I was pleased.  "Well, if you don't mind, I have a job to find…" then I gave Tai a look.  "You know the thing that you get where you work for money, yeah, that."

"Fuck you, Ishida.  Go to hell."

"I'll meet you there, then."  With that I had turn around and walk off to my home as I replace my ear muffs.

I _had gotten a job not long after that, working as entertainment at Rhythm Palace.  It was a themed restaurant where the theme was music.  The walls were decorated in black wallpaper that had little white musical notes on it.  Tables looked like drums and this long table that we bring out for when we have a crowd all sit down together, looks like the back a large tambourine.  The entertainment was all live and musical._

I worked from six to ten every second day, playing my guitar and singing.  Sometimes I had a back up band, sometimes I didn't.  I used music I had played with my band and some music I had never got an opportunity to play in public though I had wanted to.  There were still those songs I didn't let people hear but the songs I did were welcomed with open arms by my audience every other night.

It had been six months before I had seen Taichi again, not like I doubted I wouldn't this time.  I realized that as long as soccer was around, I was going to see him till he left school… and I doubted the country would band soccer just because I asked it too.  No.  It wouldn't.

I was in my first relationship at that point… with a guy, by the way.  I had been considering moving in with him since he had been asking me to and I didn't see why not.  He said he loved me and I believed I loved him.  He was in practice to be a lawyer and was a bit older then I.  He was taking his internship that year and had been really busy so I had been seeing less of him as of late.  I was hoping that would end as soon as his internship would.

But, anyways, I had been sitting at home, by myself again.  My father always working.  Typical workaholic, though I was used to it.  The only times I had not been alone as a kid was when I was with my band.

So I was home when the phone rang and my work had told me they needed me to be in that day, though it wasn't one of the days I would normally work, since someone had just canceled that night and they had a lot of guests celebrating something.  I had eagerly agreed to do the entertainment and put my school work away to do when I got home.  After grabbing my guitar I left the house.

I didn't have a car so I had walked.  It was only a few blocks from there so it was nothing to worry about.  When I had gotten through the doors, the smell of pasta's and gourmet food rushed, satisfyingly, through my nostrils while the sound of happy chatter and excitement surfaced through the room.  I walked into the back where my boss was waiting for me.  He took my jacket and told me to hurry to the stage and that the soccer players were getting rowdy.

My heart stopped when I heard that and thought how it was probably my luck that it was Taichi's team out there instead of one of the other fifty teams in our city, disinclining the professional one.  And I was aggravated when I stepped out of the back room and into the main one where, to my surprise, note sarcasm, I saw Taichi.

I sighed and told myself that it was just for tonight and that it could be worst.  So I had raised my head and walked on stage while pretending I hadn't seen the Brunet.  When I did get on stage, positioned myself on stage and scanned the audience my eyes met with the amused brown ones.  He was leaning comfortably in his seat with his hands together, waiting patiently for me to begin.  He must have seen me and was waiting for me to start so he could mock me after wards.

I gave him a glare as his team turned towards me and some took seats at the tambourine.  _Just four hours,_ I remember thinking.  _Just four hours.  And I started playing, hoping they were into rock and that I wouldn't be booed off stage to my humiliation.  Of course if I were booed off stage then Taichi would have probably led it with his own chorus of boos._

I let my eyelids close over and tried to concentrate solely on my music.  I usually didn't do this though.  I always enjoyed looking over my audience and seeing there reactions to tell if they liked it.  I was a bit self conscience but never let it get to me to the point where it would stop me from living.

I strummed a few cords letting the music wash over the room and quiet those left who were talking.  My fingers played over the memorized notes and I felt my tension wane from me as I began a song.  It was going to be an easy song… easy on the ears I mean.  Not too loud or filled with too much vigor.  I listened to my music and sang.  My voice was steady and unwavering, soothing maybe and soft.

I've always been told my voice held a velvet texture to it and I'm sure it got that way after the vocal practices I put it through.

As the song ended I moved onto another one and another after that.  My music steadily grew louder and I got to the ones I had written while in grade twelve of high school.  When I hit a song I never sang before my eye lids fluttered open and I looked over the crowed.  They were all smiling, eyes on me while some whispered to each other and it was during these songs that they got rowdy.  A joyful rush filled me again as I relived those times with my band where I'd be able to control the audience by the kind of music I played.  When my music got vigorous my audience got excited and louder and… when my music was soft, so was my audience and they'd just listen quietly.  I don't think I'd find anything I enjoyed more then when I played my music to a crowed.

As my eyes scanned my audience they picked up the form of one who was not joining in with them.  Taichi sat as he had when I had started, eyes as in tense and body poise.  His eyes never strayed from me.

As I got to the final song my fingers shifted gracefully over the strings on my guitar and I got ready to play an easy song, soft song.  One, in fact, that I had played at my prom years before.

I started out with a soft guitar melody, repeating the same few notes over and over again.  When my voice joined it, its velvety texture was evident, even to my ears.

"They painted up your secrets…

"With the lies they told to you…

"And the least they ever gave you…

"Was the most you ever knew…

"And I wonder where these dreams go…

"When the world gets in your way…

"What's the point in all this screaming…

"No one's listening anyway."

My fingers strummed the repeating cords as I listened to my voice carry the song through the quiet room.

"Your voice is small and fading…

"And you're hiding here unknown…

"And your mother loves your father…

"'Cause she's got no where to go…

"And she wonder's where these dreams go…

"'Cause the world _got in her way…_

"What's the point in never trying…

"Nothings changing anyway…"

The notes are repeated again, four times if I remember right, before I head back into the song.

"They pressed there lips against you…

"With the love that lies in shame…

"And I tried so hard to reach you…

"But you're falling anyway…

"_And you know I see right through you…_

"'Cause the world _gets in your way…_

"What's the point in all this screaming…

"'Cause I'm listening anyway…"

The notes repeat twice before finally coming to a close and my four hours were over.

I opened my eyes and replaced the guitar strap over me as I was granted applause.  I bowed my head lightly to the audience and headed off stage, in the direction of the back room to retrieve my jacket.  I remember seeing a quick movement out of the corner of my eye and I only turned my head the slightest before seeing Taichi rush towards me, probably ready with another insult, something about my performance and something I didn't feel like hearing insulted about.

"Fuck." I had whispered as the rest of the team got back to what they had been doing before.

"So, Ishida, nice songs."  I stopped and glowered as Taichi walked in front of me.

"If you're going to be sarcastic you should learn how to do it better."

Tai shoved his hands in his blue jeans' pockets.  "Who said I was being sarcastic?"

"Common sense."  When I had raised my eyes to his, I frowned and realized we were now exactly the same height.  He noticed that too.  I could tell because then he grinned.

"Guess you don't have your height anymore."

"Just because your hair's higher then the empire state building doesn't mean you're suddenly tall.  Which, I'm guessing, you're still band from the hair dressers?"

Tai then chuckled.  He glanced at his team, whom wasn't paying attention to our little discussion.  I wasn't even sure they knew it was going on.  They had some kind of competition going on, about who could gulp the most chocolate milk or something.  Tai then had looked at me, and brought his one hand out of his pocket to hook on it instead.  "So, you remember the old rumors."

"Yeah," I had started sarcastically, "I'm sure that's all they were."

He grinned again but didn't take me up on the challenge.  "So what are you doing here?"

I had given him a look that most likely asked, quite bluntly, if he was _really_ that stupid.  "I was being the entertainment…" I said slowly as if talking to someone who was mentally impaired.  "You were watching… or maybe that was just you on autopilot again.  Brain took a vacation?"

"Funny."  He stated simply.  "No, it was just that I think you disappointed some of the guys… they were expecting you to strip."  Taichi then laughed out right at my blush but the laugh was drowned out by the uproar that had suddenly come from the tambourine table.

"Your crude, you know."  I stated as the flush left my face and I narrowed my eyes on him.

"More so then saying my ex cut off my sex?"  His face now held a knowing smile that I despised.

"Whatever.  Let me by.  I've got to get home and finish my work."

"Alright," he said simply and as I walked away he added, "But we will see each other again and our conversation will continue there."

"Well, then see you there…"

I remember my graduation so precisely.  It's as if when I close my eyes I'm still there.  I remember the breeze sweeping through the air and caressing my cheeks, ruffling my hair and streaming through my garments of clothing to keep me cool.  I remember the sound of ruffling trees and how the leaves glowed green when I looked up and saw the sun peeking its bright head around to see the ceremony taking place below.

I remember hearing the soft sounds of fabric against fabric and how an arm had nudged mine when the person to my right reached up to scratch his nose.  I remember how the hat felt as it rested, lightly, on the top of my head and how I had gotten annoyed several times with the tassel for getting in the way.

The valedictorian was saying their speech when I turned around in my chair, a smile curving on my lips that I couldn't wipe away.  I looked to the seats across the aisle and saw my family, all of them.  Father, Mother, Brother… They smiled at my while my mother wiped an eye with a tissue.  My father sat tall in his seat, looking proud.  He was proud of me…

My boyfriend sat in the row in front of them.  He had gotten in a little later because of work but he looked proud too.  He gave me a dashing smile and I gave him one in return.

I lost my virginity that night.  He had surprised me when we got to our apartment with a meal he had cooked himself.  Said he made it for me since I was going to be making a lot of people their meals now that I could become a chef.

I remember this day so precisely because it was one of my last truly happy days….


	2. Changes

Disclaimer: check first chap.  

A/N:  I'm sorry it took so long to get out.  The next chapters already finished so it should be out within the week.  If it's not blame it on my teachers…Just because I don't want to be blamed.  ^_^

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**Changes**

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**Chapter 2**

Things changed many times over the years and three years after graduation I open my eyes, remember I'm not twenty-one anymore, and frown at the over sized home with expensive and highly comfortable furniture and smooth wooden floors.  The house had two electric fire places with one on the upper/main floor and one for the basement which had soft comfortable grey carpeting and a large screen TV.

The walls were painted gorgeous pale colors of peach and sky blue that made the rooms look cheerful.  I had painted it all myself since my boyfriend had to work.  He was there to help me pick the colors, though I hadn't thought his opinion mattered much.  I felt bad for thinking this since it was his paycheck that helped pay for mostly all of it but he was hardly around to see the effects.

He worked at the city law firm which was a few blocks from where we lived.  That was the good thing about moving to the house we were in… it was close to his work but I still worked at Rhythm Palace, as an assistant chef now, and that was on the other side of the city.  He let me use the car to go to work, thank goodness, but when I didn't have to go in, he took the car.  We only had one and it was his, though we were putting away for another one.  I was the one who started saving up for it and he said he'd help me till I could afford it.  It's was going to be mine and  I was half way ready to buy it already.

I couldn't wait to get a car of my own.  I had my sites set on a Nissan but hadn't decided on the color, though I thought black would be easiest since, if the car got scratched, the shade would be easiest to match.  I would have liked blue but black was the most sensible to me.

Sometimes, on the days I don't work, I'd take a deter from wherever I would have to go that day, be it shopping or what-else, to stop by the Nissan dealerships near my house and pretend I was ready to purchase a car so they would let me take a test drive.

Unfortunately, the day I'm about to recall for you, I was too busy to do so and, as I walked by all the new cars, I gave them a wistful look.  

I was heading to the grocery store because we were getting low on… well groceries.  It was the fact that we needed groceries about once a month that reminded me that I was living with my boyfriend.  Like I said, he has to work a lot   

As I got to the little store about two blocks from my home I had noticed that, outside the store, a person was on the ground, curled up, and covered in filthy clothing and newspapers.  It pained me when I noticed the homeless person was younger then me, 16 or so, and I knew I would feel awful if I didn't try to help a little.  So I walked up to him and gave him the little money I had in cash with me.  He was surprised at first but grateful non-the-less.  After giving him a smile I walked into the store to get what I had needed.

Ever since I was young I hated grocery shopping.  I always had to do it for my father and I had to remember what he was allergic to and what was healthy and what he liked best.  I went into the grocery store a thousand times before I became familiar with some of the products I bought regularly.  It took me years to shorten the shopping experience to just an hour but when I graduated University I had to start the whole process over again for my boyfriend, Yukio, who was always busy with his clients.

Anyways, I was in the middle of shopping when I felt a large hand grab my backside.  I yelped in surprise and turned around, a cracker box still held tightly in my left hand.  A man about my age with dyed black hair stood in front of me.  He was about my height and standing almost close enough for our chests to touch.

He gave me a wide grin as I glared at him angrily.  "Who the hell do you think you are?"  I said angrily into his grinning face.

"Oh, come off it babe.  You know you liked it."  He then placed his hands on my hips.  I had grabbed both his hands and flung them off me.

"Don't touch me, asshole, and get a life.  I'm not even like you."

I said and replaced the box of crackers on the shelf.  "Not like me?  You mean gay?"  He then scoffed.  "Sure you aren't."

"What are you implying?"  I say slowly, trying to sound and look as intimidating as I could as if I were actually straight and had just been greatly insulted.  He stared at me for a moment with this cocky grin upon his face and all I wanted to do was slap it off.  I narrowed my eyes on him, trying to tell him with looks only to fuck off. He seems to have gotten the hint after a moment and backed away with a frown.

"Fine, whatever.  Like I care.  After all, it's you who'll miss the fun."  I glared at his retreating back and waited for him to be out of site before finishing my shopping.

I paid everything with my credit card and took the three brown paper bags in my arms and got ready to walk back home.  When I had left the store I had realized that the boy I had given the money to was no longer there.  

I had seen him again though.  About fifteen minutes later, in fact.  I had been passing an alley when I heard someone gasp as if struck by a sudden pain.

Out of curiosity I looked through the shadows and took a few steps forward until I saw him, kneeling with his back against the wall, a broken shoelace tied around his upper arm.  When I saw him he was pulling a needle out of his arm and let it drop onto the filthy ground.  It was then that I realized what he had used my some money for.  He bought heroin or some kind of drug in which I never heard of.

I walked home in a fury. The image of that boy, sixteen years old, pumping something he knows nothing about into his arteries while waiting for it to numb his senses, played in my head. What was worst? It was my fault that he was doing that. I was stupid, a complete idiot for helping him destroy his life.  Helping him destroy himself.

I slammed the door when I had entered my home and dropped all the bags I had been carrying onto the floor while ignoring the damage it had probably caused.  I turned around and pressed my back into the door as the anger left my being to be replaced by a depression I was all too accustomed to.

My hand dragged through my hair as I forced the negativity back but the guilt was overwhelming and had nearly brought me to tears.  I closed my eyes and shoved the image out of my head while taking a moment to ignore these feelings.  

When I felt composed enough I pushed myself from the door and picked up the grocery bags, shoving the few cans, in which had rolled out of the bags, back into the bag.  I walked into the kitchen and placed the bags I had onto the counter and started looking to see what had been damaged.  When I had thrown away the eggs and were satisfied that nothing else was damaged beyond hope, I started putting them away.   

It was in the midst of this that I noticed two messages were on the answering machine that sat on the counter by the door where we enter the kitchen.  I stopped what I was doing and went to the answering machine.  I took the coin that was beside the machine and held it between my forefinger and thumb.

"Heads says its Yukio, tails says its work."  I spoke as if I had someone to speak to.  I flicked the coin into the air and caught it in the palm of my hand.  "So, heads it is."  I then had forced my voice deep to imitate Yukio's.  "Hey, babe.  Sorry but I gotta work late tonight… again, I know, I know, I'm sorry.  I'll make it up to you, I promise."  I scoffed.  "Sure you will, Yukio."

I then leaned lazily against the counter and pressed the message button.  "Uh… Hey, babe.  Sorry but I gotta work late tonight… again, I know, I know, I'm sorry.  I'll make it up to you, I promise.  Why don't you order out tonight?  You have to work tomorrow right?  Well, I'll see you sometime tonight… or tomorrow.  Sorry again.  Bye, baby."

I sighed and waited for the next message.  "Yamato, this is Ivan."  Ivan was my boss, the chef I worked for at Rhythm Palace.  "I need you to come in tonight at five.  We have major guests coming in at six and I need you down here.  You'll get over time, if it means anything.  Call me before then if you're coming."  I checked my watch and saw it was three in the afternoon so I thought I might as well go.  I called him up and told him I could go, leaving out the fact that it would put me behind in my house work.  Not like anyone but me would notice…

To be a chef you would have to have extreme patience and not be shocked when they stream from you.  It's an incredibly stressful job.  Returned orders, grease fires, people rushing back and forth shouting 'HOT' and shouting orders from customer left and right.  You have to remember to keep going faster because you'll never be fast enough.  Your voice has to be well trained because you will be straining it for as long as you're in the kitchen and if you can't keep your voice working that long then you'd be sending someone to the hospital before the night is done.

I was only an assistant chef but I still had these concerns and the worries of my fingers being chopped off, sided them.  I can take the stress, though, and have always been quick witted when I needed to be.  I was also a very organized person so this job I could live through and I did like to see the finished work that I was helping make, though I wasn't cooking more then eggs to help finish the presentation of a meal or doing more then chopping vegetables.

After I had finished cutting the carrots and washing the parsley, Ivan had walked up to me and asked me to follow a waitress to a customer.  Apparently the customer had wanted to speak to the chef for a moment but he was too busy so was sending me in his place.

I had agreed to and called one of the other assistant chefs to ask if they could finish the parsley for me and I had left with the waitress in the lead.

My ears found instant relief upon walking out into the somewhat quieter environment.  A girl was on the small stage singing a song that sounded strangely like one of my own.  The tune was the same but the words were different.

I ignored this as I walked up to one of the drum shaped tables where the waitress was.  She tapped the customer on her shoulder and said something quietly before she pointed behind her.  I was shocked, to say the least, to see the customer was one of my high school teachers.   

"Why, hello Yamato."  She said, sounding pleasantly surprised.

"Hello, Mrs. Sumi.  How are you this evening?"

"Good, good."  She answered as she turned to look around her at the other occupants of the table while she clasped her hands together and rested them on the table.  "This was one of my students a few years back."  She explained.  The others seemed to understand then and returned to there meal and conversation.  "You work here?"

I nodded.  "Yeah.  I'm the assistant chef.  The real chef's awfully busy but I can help you with what you want."  I said politely.

"Well, I was wondering, what's in this soup of yours.  It's quite good and I'm having this little gathering tomorrow night and would like to be able to serve this.  Of course I will mention who's recipe it rightfully belongs to."  She said as she turned back around to look at me.

I smiled politely.  "I'm sorry but it's a secret of the restaurant's."

"Oh…" She said, sounding disappointed.  "I was afraid of that.  Well, I'm glad I asked anyways because now I can ask you myself."

"Ask me what?"  I said raising an eyebrow. 

"If you want to come to the class reunion we are holding." 

"Isn't it a little early to have a reunion?  It's only been a few years." 

"Well, we wanted to hold one every six years for the millennium graduates.  We thought it'd be nice."

I thought about it for a moment and wondered if it would be okay to go there since Taichi would be there and I didn't want to be running into him just to argue.  Not to mention I didn't have all that many friends while I was in high school.  Although I was thinking this, I decided to be courteous and ask when it was.

"It'll be next week, Monday, at seven?  You game?"  She asked.  The last part she said made me wonder if she had had something alcoholic to drink already.

"I'll think about it."  I offered, though I doubted I'd be going.

"Great, I'll be looking for you."  I nodded and gave her another smile as I headed back to the kitchen again.

That night I had went to sleep late.  I was trying my hardest to wait up for my boyfriend so that I could ask him if he thinks that maybe I should go to the reunion or not, simply because his opinion really mattered to me, but I had fallen to sleep.  I'm not sure at what time I had woken up at but when I did I felt incredibly light, as if I were flying but I had no control of it.  

A thought occurred in my muddled mind that I could fall, so I had lightly grasped at the solid object I was near and felt my hand clasp down on cloth.  It confused me further and further still when I felt myself start moving in a direction.  I forced opened my weary eyes and stared up.

"Yuki?"  I said when I saw it was my boyfriend.  He stared at me, his dark green eyes matching his hair.  His hair was mostly gelled back but was slightly messier then usual, probably from his long hours at work.

"Sh, babe.  I'm just taking you to bed."  He said and I realized he was carrying me.

I became more aware of my surroundings, then, and remembered I had needed to talk to him.  "Wait…"  I said though he ignored my feeble command as he walked into our room and towards the queen size bed.  "I needed to talk to you..."  I was then placed on the bed and forced myself to sit up.  A head rushed met my sudden movement and I felt his hand against my chest, gently guiding my back to a laying position.

"What is it babe?"  He asked me, smiling gently at me through the shadows of the room.  He was keeping the lights off so they wouldn't hurt my eyes.

"I was asked to a school reunion today.  I'm not sure if I should go.  I was wondering, though, what you think?"  I said quietly, still not fully awake and not sure if I was going to be able to become so.

"For your grade school?"  I shook my head.  "High school?"  I nodded.  "It's only been six years since you've been out of high school.  That's a bit soon for a reunion, isn't it?"

I nodded.  "They said they have one every six years."  He looked thoughtful for a moment before smiling again.

"I think you should go.  I'll go with you and see all of your old friends."

"You don't have to.  I didn't have all that many friends, anyways."

He shrugged, seeming to be unconcerned with it.  "It doesn't mater.  I think it would be nice to see what your old class mates used to be like and you can tell me how each of them changed.  Why don't you go?"  I remember sighing, thinking maybe it would be okay to go.

"Sure, okay."  Then I started to drift off to sleep while he sat beside me and watched.  I was a second away from total unconsciousness when the blanket was pulled over me and a kiss was placed softly on my forehead then on my unresponsive lips.

Monday came around and I remember on the ride to the reunion how I kept repeating, in my mind, of all the good things that changed in my life.  I had to remind myself that I was now, respectfully, a assistant chef and was in love with a rich lawyer, though I wasn't sure how'd they would react to the fact that he was male, I reminded myself I lived in a house and we had one car though we were on our way to two.

As I thought about this I realized that I _did_ have a lot to be proud of and wondered why I wasn't happier.  Yes, I smiled now and then and laughed when something was funny but when have I been truly happy in the past few years.  Pride and joy may be two different things but should come at the same price, shouldn't they.

I remembered my University graduation, then, and wished I could relive that event.  It was almost heartbreaking when my wish didn't come true and I saw the reunion sign in front of my old school come closer as Yukio drove.

It was a few moments later when we walked through the front doors of my old school.  I was so nervous.  I had walked so slowly up the old cement steps to the large brown doors.

Yukio had laughed when we got to the doors and I was wringing my hands.  "Hey, don't worry."  He said as he brought his mouth to my ear.  "It'll be fine."  He kissed my ear lob as I nodded and stepped inside.

Yukio's hand had been wrapped around my waist and his hand rested on my hip.  I remember the heat radiating from his arm as we walked down the empty halls towards the old auditorium.  The heat seemed to be burning me and I kept trying to ignore the pictures my mind were sending my eyes.  The pictures were of all my old peers, looks of disgust would outline there features, after all, who liked two fags…

Paranoia started taking over all rational thought at that point.  What if I was wrong with the dates?  What if we didn't have a reunion this year and I walk into the auditorium and only the janitor was there?

It was then that I looked over my cloths.  Formal… what if I'm the only one wearing something formal?

It was while I was berating my choice of hair style that I realized we had made it to the two black doors that led to the auditorium.  "You ready?"  I remember Yukio asking.

"As ready as I'm going to be."  Then I swung the auditorium doors open and I stepped in.  I was mildly surprised but ultimately relieved when no one paid us any mind and I wasn't the only male there with my boyfriend.

The oversized room was filled with people my age.  There were people wearing suits and people wearing shorts and people in tux's with tags still attached, it was later I found out it was because they worked at a store for tux's and were advertising for the store.

I wanted to hit myself for being so paranoid moments before but abstained the action since it would be what got me the unwanted attention.

On the far right side of the room was a buffet table and circular tables filled the rest of the room.  The place was decorated as nicely as it could be with streamers and 'welcome back millennium graduates' signs.  People were standing in little groups by these tables that were covered with white sheets.  That was all I could remember about the decorations.  But the decorations doesn't matter that much, I suppose.

Well, anyways, I had stood looking around at my surroundings for about a moment before I felt a tap on my shoulder.  I turned my head and saw a familiar, smiling face.

"Juro!"  I said happily.

"That _is you, Yama-kun.  Wait till the guys sees you.  You look so _different_."  He said happily and, even though Yukio's hand was still placed on my hip, I still forgot about him upon seeing an old friend._

"I look different?"  I said, tilting my head a bit.  He nodded.  "Well, _you_ don't.  Same messy black hair and over sized jeans that look as if they're about to fall off…"  I say with a teasing smirk.

"Ha, ha.  I'm laughing.  See?"  The sound of someone clearing there throat startles me and I look to my boyfriend, suddenly reminded of him.

"Oh, Juro.  This is Yukio.  He's my…"

"I'm his boyfriend."  Yukio stats, sounding proud.  I fight back a blush and raise my eyes to Juro's who only seems mildly surprised.

"Nice to meet you."  He says politely, more politely then I've ever heard him in fact.  They shake hands properly before Juro turns back to me.  "Come on.  I can't wait for you to see the others."  With that he starts off and I expectantly follow.

That night I was reacquainted with my old band mates.  They had all agreed that I had changed a lot and started picking on me, saying my hair was too long and I used to much gel, even though I don't use gel anymore, and saying my nose was to big and teased me like we used to tease each other in high school.  And I'd tease right back, picking at them and boasting myself.  It went on for a few moments until we started telling each other of our lives and it was a while later before we were interrupted.  

"So, anyways, where were we…"  I turn around to see the grinning brunet of my nightmares.  "Who's cruder?"

I scowled as everyone turned there attention to Taichi, his ex-girlfriend who I forgot the name of at the time but later was reminded it was Sora, and another man about our age named Jyou.  Sora apparently married the bluenet.  "You're not _still going on about that.  It's been three years."_

Tai's grin widened.  "I promised we would continue the conversation and now you can't avoid answering me."

I saw out of the corner of my eye that my boyfriend was eyeing him suspiciously.  I decided to clear things up.  "This is Taichi.  Just try to ignore him and don't feed him or he'll keep coming back."

I guess I didn't do a good enough job since it was Juro who had clarified it, though.  "Taichi Yagami and Yamato Ishida have been arguing since early in grade eleven."

Tai's ex was the next to speak.  "I tried to talk him out of coming over here but…" she then sighed.

"So, you planning to put on a performance for us, Ishida."  Then he added.  "And you know what kind of performance I'm talking about.  The kind that every one was expecting at Rhythm Palace, couple years back."  I blushed but was ready with an argument when my boyfriend jumped in.

"Watch what you say!"  He snapped angrily.

The grin left Tai's face as he eyed Yukio.  "And who are you?"

"His boyfriend."

And the grin was back.  "Oh.  So you're Mr. Over-Protective.  Don't blame you.  He needs the protection."  My eyes narrowed.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"  My voice held a dangerous edge to it and my anger picked up.  It had been years since I got that worked up yet Taichi continued to work me.

"Well, remember our one little fight back in high school.  The one that you lost terribly in."

"I did not, you idiot.  We never even got to finish it…"

"And I was winning."

"I must have hit you harder then I thought because, if you actually believe that then you were hallucinating."

I saw his eyes cast a flame as he got ready to say something, but before he could a different voice probed in.  "Oh and where would we be without Yamato and Taichi arguing."  The small group turned to two girls who were walking by and they winked.

"You know," the other girl started, "I actually missed the controversy between the two."

"I _know."  The first girl agreed._

Silence fell between the group, words suddenly lost to us and it was a moment before I thought of what to say.  "I'm not here to fight."  I simply stated as I started to walk off.

My arm was lightly grasped and I looked to Yukio who held it.  "Where you going?"

"The restroom.  I'll meet you at the buffet table, okay?"  Yukio nodded and I walked off towards the men's room.  I wasn't in there for long, though, because I just needed a moment to cool my anger before walking back out there and I was also hoping to give Taichi the time to find someone else to bug before I entered back out there.

Five minutes passed before I walked out of the men's room and headed straight towards the buffet table.  When I could see through the crowds I became annoyed by the fact that he was talking to my rival.  Taichi and Yukio both looked angry with each other so I went closer so I could hear what they were saying but the moment I got in hearing rang Yukio saw me and greeted me with a smile, cutting off whatever was being conversed.  Taichi was still glaring at my boyfriend when I walked up to them and scowled.

"What were you two talking about?  Taichi being a jerk and won't leave?  I told you not to feed him."  I said then glanced at the buffet table. Taichi rolled his eyes at my comment, which surprised me considering the defensive mode I was used to when I spoke about him.

 "Nothing."  He said then kissed me on the lips in a quick peck.  I gave him one in return and smiled.  "I love you."

"I love you, too."  I saw a sly look cross Yukio's face as he looked out of the corner of his eyes at Taichi who started glaring again.  I pulled away from my boyfriend and gave him a stern look then.  "What _were you talking about?"_

He smiled at me again but didn't get a chance to respond before a beeping noise sounded from his right hip.  He sighed and brought out his pager then looked at it.  With a sigh he said, "Its work.  They need me to go in right now."

A wave of emotions ranging from hurt to confusion sailed through me but I pushed them aside and forced myself to look nonchalant.  "When have you started getting paged for work?"

Yukio frowned.  "Well, we just got a new client, someone with a lot of money so I said they could page me if something came up, after all I still work for the partners and if I want to be a partner one day I'll have to work lots.  You don't mind if I go do you?"  He asked sounding worried

I sighed and shook my head.  "No.  It's fine."

"Thanks, babe.  I'll see you at home."  He kissed my cheek and started walking away when I thought of something.

"Wait, Yukio."  He stopped and turned to me.  "How'll I get home?"  He thought for a moment then he brought out his wallet.

"You can take taxi, okay?"  I scowled.

"I've got the money, don't worry."  I say dryly.

"Okay, babe.  See you tomorrow."  I nodded and watched him leave.  I wondered if I should leave then but knew it wouldn't help succeed in getting a free ride home.  I sighed and looked behind me to see Taichi watching silently.

"What?"  I asked angrily.

He seemed shocked for a moment before shrugging.  "Nothing."

'Whatever' I had thought and walked off to find where my old friends had gone.

It must have been an hour later when I realized how dull the reunion had gotten.  I hadn't gotten hungry so I hadn't needed to go back to the buffet table but when my friends started eating and I still wasn't up to it, I thought it was time to take my leave.  

I left the auditorium and headed to the payphones in the foyer and became aggravated when an 'out of order' sign made it's self apparent to me.  I sighed and my next thought was the office, which was back down the main hall.

I checked my watch and hoped that someone was in there.  It was a bit past 8:00 P.M. and I doubted anyone would be in there at this time.  When I got to the office my thoughts were confirmed.  The door was locked and lights were out, casting the room in total darkness.

I remember how a wave of disappointment washed over me and I had considered heading back to the auditorium to ask who had a cell phone but didn't, thinking that that was not the way I wanted to be remembered so I resigned to catching the bus.

I hadn't so much as turned my body towards the front doors when my name was called.  I scowled at the familiar voice and wondered when Taichi would start leaving me alone.

"What?"  I said, making sure I didn't sound at all like I wanted him around.

"Oh, nothing."  He said as I looked at him while he shrugged indifferently.  "I just thought I'd offer you a ride, but if you don't want one…"

"I don't..." and I turned and started walking away.

"It started raining… how are you expecting to get home?"

"Taxi."

"And how are you going to phone?  Last time I checked the phones were out of order."  That was when I stopped walking.

A moment later I turned around and looked at him, giving him a suspicious look.  "And when had you looked?"

A grin found way onto his face at that point.  "An hour ago.  Had to make a phone call of my own.  I couldn't which is why I'm leaving now so I don't have to wait any longer before I can make it."

"Yet you're willing to waste your time and give me a ride?"

He nodded.  "Thought I'd be nice."

I scoffed and looked down.  "Don't be nice."  I say, suddenly thoughts of the kid came back into my mind.  I pictured the boy in the alley shooting up with some illegal drug while being soaked in the rain.  "Often it back fires."

When I looked back up he was no longer grinning and he was closer then before.  "Not often.  Sometimes, but not often.  Look, why don't you just take me up on my offer?"

"Why?  I hate you, you hate me.  That's kind of a friendly thing of you to offer for two rivals.  Kind of sounds suspicious, don't you think.  I don't want to find my self on the outskirts of town in a down pour.  I'd prefer to take the bus."  With that I turn back around and start walking away.

I remember hearing the clonks behind me as Taichi persisted towards me and a warm gentle hand was placed on my shoulder.  The fact that it was gentle was the only thing that made me stop.  It surprised me, and would surprise anyone who knew Taichi, when feeling such a strong hand do anything gently.  "I don't hate you.  I know you don't care much for me but I don't hate you.  Well, maybe I do sometimes but nothing like when we were younger.  Honestly, my intensions are sincere."

"Why are you so persistent?"

"Because I'd feel awful for letting you, or _anybody_ I knew for that matter, head out into the rain to wait an hour for the bus."

I sighed and reminded myself why I wanted to get a car so badly again.  "Alright but if I find myself in some god forsaken place, your tires will get it."  I warned.

"Fair."  He said as he removed his hand and led the way to the doors.  I remember how he had been right, that it was pouring outside and how it probably would have ruined my outfit if I had to stand in it for to long.  I also remembered when he led me to his car how surprised I was when I noticed he had a Nissan Xterra.

"You have a Nissan?"

He grinned.  "Yup.  Got it new and for a good price, too."

As I got into it I could smell how knew it was and checked out the interior as he started up the car.  "I'm going to get a Nissan too, soon.  It's going to be a Maxima.  I can't wait till I get it."

"Hm."  He said as he backed out of his parking spot.  A few moments later we were on the road and the vehicle was filled with an uncomfortable silence which was only broken now and then by further directions from me.  When we pulled up in front of my home he looked at me.  "Wow.  This is your house?"  He stared at the raised ranch and the bay windows that looked into a carefully colored house with one light on in the kitchen.  I usually leave a light on if I'm going to be coming home sometime after dark.

"It's not as nice as you think."  I say honestly as I step out of the car into the rain.

"Do you mind if I can use your phone?"  He asked, catching me off guard.  I sit back down in the car to pull myself out of the rain and look at him.  "Your place was further out of my way then I thought it'd be."  He explains.  I sigh, realizing I wasn't going to be getting rid of him so soon and actually felt guilty for thinking that which I had found weird.  I nodded and got out of the car as he turned it off and he did the same.

A few moments later I shoved the peach colored door open and stepped inside, onto the rug that lay there under the glass chandelier.  I kicked off my shoes and placed them neatly next to the door.  I watched as he stared around at the wooden stairs that led upstairs to the living room and then down stares at the other set of stairs that led to the lower level, these stairs were carpeted.  Taichi's eyes turned towards the upper part of the wall on his left, which was replaced with a wooden and nicely crafted railing in which you could see a dark wooden end table and a beige couch.  It was like a balcony there where you could see the entrance room from the upper living room.  

"Wow.  You really _are liven it up."_

I shrugged.  "I guess it looks that way."  I ignored the untidy shoes in which Taichi had left and started up the stairs.  He followed me towards the kitchen and as I walked through the large opening that could be expressed as a door, I gestured towards the phone.

"Thanks."  He said as he picked up the phone and started dialing.  I decided to give him some privacy so had left out of the kitchen to an adjoined hallway and down it.  A moment later I had found myself in my room taking out my night wear and placing it onto the bed.  I was doing this just for something to do since I had caught up on all my chores the day before and I needed to give the Brunet his privacy on the phone call.

After a few moments I decided I had given him enough time and headed back down the hall that would lead to the kitchen.

Half way down the hall I looked up and noticed he wasn't done his call.  I was bout to turn back around when I heard Taichi say my name.  I froze and listened, ease dropping if you mind, to his call.

"… Yeah… I don't like that Yukio person… I know… I won't, I don't even like him… no I don't… 'Kari I don't… so… Because I was talking to him and he was saying stuff… no, Yamato wasn't there… well, if he was he would be just as suspicious as I am… Yeah, whatever… look, I've gotta go.  This isn't my phone… Yes, so… I'm not being rude… whatever… that's not rude… look, just tell mom I'll come, 'kay… alright… bye, love you." Then he hung up the phone and I started walking again.

"Done?"  I asked to make my presence apparent.

He jumped slightly and turned to me.  "Yeah, I'll go."  I walked him to the door and watched him drive off.  The conversation between Taichi and the person, who I assume was his sister, 'Kari baffled me and I wondered on more then one account as to what they had been talking about.

Anyways, life went on as usual.  Yukio continued to be the workaholic that I knew him to be and often left me to take care of the house on my own.  My job remained the same.  I cut vegetables and boiled eggs but that wasn't what I wanted to be doing.  I had dreamed for the past year to get a restaurant of my own and do all the real cooking myself.

At night I would plan the layout and decide how large each table would be and I'd have live entertainment as well, musical most of the time but some times comical as well.  I planned the size of the stage and back ground and how I'd hire a few chefs and twice as many assistant chefs.  The lighting would be dim all except for Fridays and Saturday's since I would have dancing then in front of the stage.  Maybe only on Fridays.  I hadn't decided yet.  Of course, this was only in my thoughts, not an actual reality, nothing I could consider coming true as of yet but it was nice to dream.

Work seemed my only life.  I lost my high school friends and University friends when I left these schools and rarely saw my co-workers after work hours and I couldn't really talk to them while trying to not cut off my fingers.

I had seen that kid, again.  The one I had given the Money to.  He had apparently recognized me and had asked me for money again… I told him I was out of it this time.  This didn't help my conscience either and when I had gotten home I had beat on myself for not trying to help but wondered how I could.

I still had my guitar and played it at times in which I knew all the house work was done and no work was needed to be attended to.  I would play the songs I wanted no other ear to hear, no other ear I trusted to hear, not even Yukio's. I would sit in the richly decorated basement on the soft blue couch and play for hours, letting the music travel through my essence and I'd let my calloused finger tips glide over the strings.

One night, a few weeks after I had guided Taichi out of the house, I had been woken by a phone call.  I remember I had not wanted to wake to answer the blasted machine and how tired I felt because of the insistent ringing which had plunged into my dream world to drag me out.

I had wondered briefly if it was Yukio calling to say that he was going to work late again.  I had thought it was a bit late to be warned me of that since it had to have been well past midnight but then I had felt the other boys arms wrapped around me and felt the slumbering man's breath against the back of my neck telling me Yukio was there with me.  The ringing obviously wasn't affecting him.  I closed my eyes and waited for the ringing to halt and when it did I waited to go back to sleep but then the phone started back up again.

I sighed and pulled the arm off me and shoved the sheets aside to leave the bed.  I grabbed my familiar house coat that was beside the bed, like always, and wrapped it around myself.  I padded out of the room, exhausted and in the dark, towards the phone.  The ringing had stopped briefly again before starting up and I reached it at the third ring of the new set of rings.

"'ello?"  I asked into the receiver.

"Yamato!  Why didn't you answer the phone sooner?  This is important!"  My mother's voice bellowed.

"Mom?"  I looked at the clock on our microwave and saw it was three a.m.  "Mom, it's only three."

"This kind of thing doesn't care about time.  Look, Yamato.  Can you meet your brother and I at the hospital?"  That brought me more around and I looked towards the thick glass table that was used for dining at and grabbed one of the black chairs from around it to sit on, thinking maybe I'll need to.

"…Why?"  I asked timidly.

"Your father… He… just come down here.  I'll explain later."  I nodded, eyes wide while fear pumped adrenalin through my veins.

"I'll be there in an hour."  I whispered.  We hung up after that.  I don't think we even gave our far wells; all I knew was that something was wrong with my father and I was scared.  I stood from the chair and walked hastily to my room, stumbling as I went, not caring if I made noise, not caring if I woke Yukio, not caring that the light I turned on when entered my bedroom was going to hurt my loves eyes.  All I cared about was being at the hospital before an hour was up.

I heard Yukio groan as I flung open my draws and grabbed the first cloths I saw.  I tossed my house coat on the floor, not even caring about the mess, and changed.

"Yama?"  My boyfriend asked.  I didn't pay him attention.  I needed to go.  "Baby?"  I changed and sat down on the edge of the bed as I put on socks.  "Yamato, what's wrong?"  I was about to stand to get my shoes when I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked over to see the worried look upon Yukio's face.

I couldn't help it, I turned around and flung my arms around his neck and sobbed into his chest.  He gently placed his arms around me and rubbed my back softly.  "My dad…"  I fell into another bout of sobs and couldn't seem to stop.  The adrenalin caused them to be twice as hard as they would be and I had tried to speak several times but found I couldn't get the sounds to come out right.

"Sh."  He soothed.  "It's okay.  What about you're Dad?  Sh."  Finally the tears subsided and I pushed myself up and wiped my eyes, sniffling a bit and turning away to stand.

"Something happened to my dad.  I don't know what but I know it's got to be really bad.  I need to meet my mom at the hospital…"  I paused for a moment then started walking towards the door but just before I left the room I hesitated and said, quietly.  "I'd like it if you came but if you're too tired, I understand.  You work hard…"

I heard the bed move before he said, "I'll come.  Go start the car.  I'll be out there in a moment."  I nodded and left.

To be continued…


	3. The Wait

Disclaimer: Check first chapter.

A/N:

****

**Chapter 3**

During the ride to the hospital I had such mix feelings.  I wasn't sure if I wanted Yukio to drive faster or not.  I didn't want to get there and find out my dad's dying for whatever happened and I wanted to be beside my father as fast as I could just in case my mom was making a bigger deal then she needed to be making.  My intuition was telling me that nothing good could come from this and I was hoping that whatever the problem was, it could be fixed.

After Yukio parked I had hopped out of the car and walked quickly toward the building.  Yukio was right beside me, keeping up with my pace while he linked his fingers through mine to try and offer comfort.  I squeezed his hand to show it was appreciated but my face remained neutral, void of any emotion I can force back.

It wasn't long before I found myself walking into the waiting room.  It was a large white room with a wooden desk at the corner and a secretary sitting just behind it writing upon some papers.  

The room was filled with little plastic chairs in which some had held people.  They were all sitting except for one who had only just risen and was pacing towards my boyfriend and me.  

Yukio and I started walking towards my mother, as well, until we came to meet her half way.  "Oh, Yamato."  She said shakily, her voice wavered as she brought up her one shaking hand to move some of her light brown hair out of her pale face.  "I'm sorry.  It doesn't look good… I'm…"    The women closed her eyes and pushed all tears back for the one she used to call husband.  I could tell my mother was near hysterics or possibly she had already gone through it and she was trying not to be hysterical now, for me.

"What's wrong?"  I choked out, wanting this sinking feeling that I have been carrying since I got the phone call to just leave.  "What happened to him?"

"…He's… He's been sick for a long time… I never knew about it."  She chocked out a laugh as something suddenly appeared humorous to her and she looked up, a strained smile upon her face.  "That stubborn man."  I watched as a tear leaked from her right eye and glistened in the artificial lighting as it fell down her soft cheek.  She closed her eyes and forced the other tears, which had wanted to escape, back as well.  "That's one of the reasons we got divorced.  He was _too_ stubborn…"  A moment went by as silence took over and the same question that's probably courses through you're mind right now was shooting through mine.     

"Mom…"  I had tried to urge her on while keeping my voice soft to sooth the same woes that I would experience in a few short minutes.

"Oh, Yamato.  I'm so, so sorry."  She opened her eyes again and gazed at me, the pain she carried was as clear as the night sky outside.  Her hand came forward as she rested it on my cheek, staring at me while her cold fingers stroked my skin.

"Mom… what's wrong with him?"  I felt Yukio's hand squeeze mine tighter, probably afraid I would brake down the moment I knew.  

"He never told you either, had he?"  She asked.  I just stared numbly at her as she brought her hand back to her side.  I didn't answer. Didn't need to.  "He has Cancer."  I felt myself freeze.  "He's had it for a long time, now… years.  He's been…"  She took a shaky breath.  "He's been having surgery every few months because of it but… they couldn't get it all…"  She paused again, trying to compose herself enough to talk.  "This is his last chance… if they can't… it's the only reason he told me… the only reason you're being told."  

I don't really remember much of the next few minutes.  I do, on the contrary, remember feeling numb, being unable to feel my body… my feet.  I had felt dizzy as you would in a dream, everything was surreal and my head spun.  The lighting was both too bright and too dark at the same time.  

I had stared at everyone in the room, seeing if anyone else could see my pain as clearly as I felt it.  I had blinked then and when my eyes had opened again the room was empty, still with the contradicting lighting and every white little chair in its place but now void of people.  A movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention and I looked towards the swinging doors that led into the emergency ward.  A face stared at me through the bullet proof glass, which was in the doors, with a kind of neutrality that chilled me thoroughly.

It was a boy of my age with skin so pale it appeared to be almost clear against all the white walls of the interior of the building.  His immaculate blue eyes stared at me and they were the only things about him that held any true feeling.  They carried the same hurt I was feeling and the sorrowful look took another stab at my already crushed heart.  

Then I felt as if I were falling and an ache swelled in my knees.  I blinked again and everything was back to normal except I was kneeling now.  I felt the hardness of the ceramic floor and it hurt but not as much as the tears that stung my eyes and the throbbing in my chest.  

I felt Yukio's arms on my sides as he tried to lift me to my feet but all he did was bring me to my standing height for my legs refused to work.  "Yamato.  Come on.  Just stand up and we'll go see him."  Yukio tempted.  I tried to stand but found it unusually hard.  Yukio wrapped his arm around me as I leaned on him and he helped me walk.

My mother wordlessly led us to my father's room and when we got there; when I was helped to walk through the door and saw him…I nearly broke down and cried.  But I couldn't… not now.  

He was hooked up to heart rate monitors, air masks and numerous other machines I couldn't name.  His skin was pale, almost as pale as I am, which is really something considering how dark his skin is usually, and his eyes were dull.  Takeru, my brother, sat beside his bed, one hand clutching my father's, his eyes were dull as well.

Feeling steadier on my feet, I pulled away from my boyfriend and walked towards my father.  His eyes lowered from the ceiling to look at me as I approached.

"Yamato…"  He said the sound was muffled through the mask and overlapping with the beeps coming from the monitors.

"Dad."  I paused for a moment and bit my lip before finally deciding to ask what I wanted.  "Lung Cancer, right?  From the cigarettes?"  He nodded though I had already knew the answer.  I sighed, not even surprised at the voice I used which had been vacant of feeling.  

I lowered myself onto the bed beside him and rested my hand on his.  One of his fingers had a gray clamp on it but it hadn't of bugged me.  "Yamato, I'm so sor…"  My father started weakly but I shook my head and he stopped.  

"It's alright, Dad.  No point in apologizing now."  I said.  I felt a bitterness come over me as I found myself tempted to say that he shouldn't apologize now since it was before the cancer that he should have thought enough to quite smoking.  

I stared at my father as he closed his eyes in grieving.  "But I am.  I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Yamato but…" 

"I said its okay, Dad."  I interrupted again and when he opened his eyes again they were slightly livelier then the moment before.

"Yamato let me talk.  I know how you think.  I didn't tell you because I know you'd drive yourself into an early grave worrying, _not because_ I didn't consider you close enough to tell you.  I'm sorry I didn't.  I love you so much, son.  I thought I'd be able to sort this out on my own with out causing you to be hurt.  I'm sorry for being so foolish to think I could."

My bottom lip quivered and I squeezed my eyes closed so tightly I saw stars.  I kept telling myself I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't cry and eventually I felt strong enough to open my eyes again without being afraid of the flood gates leaking.     

 "Matt?"  My brother asked. I turned my head to look at my brother as I caught hold of my emotions.  

"Yeah, Teek?"  My voice was soft as I spoke, softer then I'd ever heard it but I didn't dare try to fix it.  

"Why do people continue making cigarettes if they know it could hurt people like this?"  His voice, on the contrary, was rough and hollow.  It sounded like he had already cried his share and was caught up in depression.

I laughed, different from the one my mother had let slip her lips earlier but still with the same anguish her voice had held, as I said, "Because they're stupid."

This answer hadn't satisfied my brother's curiosity as he had hoped but he didn't ask anything else.  He just looked down at his hands, as if my words or tone of voice hurt him, then to my father and tried to pretend the question wasn't asked.  

Yes, I felt bad for making him feel that way but I didn't know what to say to make it better so I thought the least I could do was not say something that could make it worst.  And I sat quietly by my father for hours.  Long after my boyfriend left for work and long after my mother left for home… 

His surgery was in a week and I had argued that it was too long away.  They told my father that it would be in the morning at eight o'clock, which is why I was called at 3 am to go to the hospital, but they had to change the appointment for the reason being that they had 'technical difficulties'.  Technical my ass.  That was just there doctor code for 'we found your father's surgery to be more difficult then what we thought', which, in turn, means that the slim chance he had before of making it is now cut in half.  

Every minute that had passed his breathing seemed more haggard and his whole upper body began to move up and down as his diaphragm seemed to desperately try and open his lungs up enough for the air he needed.

I felt _so helpless as I sat in the large chair, wrapped in my boyfriends huge coat, just staring at my father's dying form and my brother's distrait form which was laying beside the older man.     _

I was becoming more and more frightened as I waited for the scheduled day to come and as I watched my father's hopeless breathing attempts I realized how my worrying was doing nothing to help no one.  

I knew I needed to get my mind off of all this ER drama if I was ever going to be some form of help, even if I were only a shoulder for crying, so, sometime around the third day, when my mother came back with her fifth coffee and my brother lay on the bed with my father talking mindlessly to his slumbering form, believing he could fully hear everything Takeru was saying, I left.

It seemed out of no where, to, that I just stood and quickly paced towards the door.  My mother asked where I was going and I said, quickly, for a ride and that was it.

I left the hospital and walked in a chosen direction at a fast pace.  I wanted to drive a car and unleash my burdened heart to burn rubber.  I had considered going to my boyfriends work to borrow his car but then I'd have to ask him because I didn't have keys of my own and even if I did then I doubt he'd be thrilled to find out his car was missing.  So I went to my second option, which, now that I think of it, wasn't the best idea in the world… not that I'd change it now if I could.  

It must have been a half an hour later that I found myself in front of a Nissan dealership.  I stood at the entrance and stared at all the cars.  My heart thudded as I picture myself behind the wheel of one of them, with the window down and letting the wind sweep away my woes… But first I had to compose myself because if I looked half like what I felt then I'd probably be sent away.  So, before I stepped into the concrete yard which held all the automobiles, I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths.  

I could smell the rain in the air and knew the ground wouldn't stay as dry as it is now.  The clouds were dark and few people were out.  

Feeling more composed; I walked into the dealership slowly and looked a few of the cars over, doing what I usually do when I want a test drive.  

I'd look until one of the employees comes over, then ask them about the car, ask for pricing and, finally, ask for a test drive.  

I found my favorite car in the lot and walked up to it.  I pretended to check the interior and exterior, tires and rims and whatever else I could think of.  Finally a salesman came over, though I couldn't see him since my back was to him, but I heard his footsteps and because of the rain promising to fall I hadn't thought it could be a pedestrian, it wasn't likely.  I remember I had opened up my mouth, ready to ask the questions and play the little act I had prepared to make it look like I'm about to purchase the car, when his voice cut off mine   "Didn't think I'd be seeing you so soon?  Anyways, need help."  Startled by the known voice, I turned around and noticed Taichi in a suit, standing a few feet away, grinning.  Any other time I probably would have taken the opportunity to mock him about the suit in which he didn't really seem to go well with.

I sighed, too exhausted to fight at the time.  "You work here?"

"Yeah.  Have so for two months.  That's why I got my Xterra for a good price."

I turned back around to look over the Maxima and said, dully.  "I don't want to fight, so let's not start something."

"Alright, 'cause I don't either.  I'd get fired if I fought with a costumer… that's what you are, right?  You finally got enough money to buy something?"  I hesitated for moment before nodding.

"Yeah.  I wanted to find a car I like first before I get my boyfriend here for his input."  

He raised an eyebrow at me.  "I thought you said it was going to be for you.  Why do you need … um… what's his name… your boyfriend, to help you decide."

I sighed, still feeling emotionally and physically exhausted.  "Yukio's opinion means something to me, that's why.  By the way, I'm _here_ to make the decision, I just want his input.  What he thinks of my decision."  He nodded as I turned back to the car and asked him if he could tell me more about the car.  

Tai nodded and started telling me about the Maxima, sounding almost dull as he described to me all the positive aspects of the car.

When he was done answering my questions about the car I realized there was only one thing left to do.  "Can I have a test drive?"  I asked.

Taichi hesitated a moment before nodding.  "Um…Yep... okay.  One moment."  He left for a moment as I continue to look at the silver car.  I dragged a finger over the smooth door handle and let it linger just before it fell away from the vehicle.

Taichi came back a moment later with the keys to the car.  I had taken them when he through them to me and got ready to drive.  A few moments later I found myself on the road, cruising at sixty miles per hour on a one way street.  The window was open and fresh air rushed over my face and swept through my hair.  The air held a crisp chill to it and carried the sent of rain as the clouds darkened with the day.

My grip on the wheel was tense and my knuckles were white as my mind strayed to the hospital bed that held my father.  My mind played around this frightful place but I tried to pull it out as I turned onto a busier road.   

I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes as I drove tears in which I hadn't let fall yet even though I know I should have. I hadn't been able to cry yet because I had to be strong for my family. If they saw me crying, saw how hopeless I felt about the situation, then they'd feel worst but now I felt the tears stronger then I'd felt them before and I wasn't sure how long I could keep them at bay.

I turned on the windshield wipers as it started to rain.  It wasn't a heavy rain, just a mist but it didn't cause me to slow in the least.  In fact, as I remembered my father's condition back at the hospital, I unconsciously sped up.  

I think this had made Taichi nervous because he reminded me of his presence by saying, "Um… maybe you should slow down before a cop pulls us over."  Yes, I had forgotten he was there.  I looked over to him and, for some reason; he looked surprised all of a sudden.  

I glanced back at the road before looking at the speed monitor and back to the road again.  I decided to slow down and pay more attention this time as I heard him heave a sigh of relief.  

I stared out of the window and turned onto a new street.  I took my one hand off the wheel and rested it on the open window while letting the tension wane from my body.  I glanced at the radio for a second, tempted to turn it on but I hadn't really needed to because, just then, a song came to mind, one in which hadn't have come to mind in a long time and without thought I found myself singing parts of it.  "…I wonder where these dreams go… when the world gets in your way…What's the point in all this screaming… no one's listening anyways…"  I hummed for a moment and I remembered prom night and the fun I had back then.  The innocence I carried and tried to remember what I thought my life would have been then.  

I wasn't surprised when I found I couldn't remember what I thought I'd be living now.  I suppose it was nothing like this.  I probably didn't even picture myself with a guy back then.

I sang another verse of the song and it came as a surprise to me when I heard my voice sounding just had it had back then. I had, kind of, expected it to change in some form or for it to be off tune since I hadn't sang this song no less any song in a while and when I did it was never much. In fact I think I've sang once in the past year. 

It was then that I remembered the crowds I used to play in front of when I was younger.  The shouting fans and jumping bodies.  I remembered how the audience had looked so much like tides on the sea that I had been so tempted to jump in and let the water flow over me.  I always became so hot while on stage but it was always worth the joy that music gave me.

I remembered graduation.  My father.  He looked so proud of me.  He never thought much of cooking, probably because he didn't really know how to, but had been glad I was going to be doing something I liked.  I felt a tear travel down my cheek as I remembered him sitting there, head raised tall and a small smile over his face as he watched me out of the corner of his eye.

What happened to those days?  Why wasn't I happy… "Yamato."  Taichi's voice plunged into my thoughts.  "Pull over." He had said softly.

I did as he said and slowed the car down before stopping it at the curb and turning it off.  Taichi had reached over me and took the keys out of the ignition as I wiped the stray tear away.  "What?"  I asked as I swallowed the knot that was forming in my throat.

I felt his hand rest on my shoulder gently as I looked the opposite way out the window.  I didn't know what to expect from him since the only time we hadn't argued was when he drove me home that time and I bet the peace wouldn't have lasted if he had stayed any longer.  "Are you alright?"

I nodded.

"You don't look it."  He stated honestly.  I turned to look at him and was surprised to see the worry sketched on his face. I didn't really understand why he was worried unless maybe he had figured me out but just then I didn't care.

"I think my dad's going to die."  I don't know why I said it but, for some reason, I wanted to tell him, for _him_ to hold me and say it was okay and that everything will get better.  I wanted for him to know and for _him to care about me. Yukio couldn't do it since he was working but maybe... maybe... Taichi could. _

He sighed, sorrow and understanding filled his eyes and the hand on my shoulder moved up to the hair and smoothed it back as I leaned back into the seat of the car.  He removed his seat belt with his free hand and undid mine as well.  He scooted closer to me and put his arms around me.  I leaned in to him and rested my forehead into the crook of his neck as tears started slipping out of my eyes.

"Are you okay?"  He said as his one hand rested on the small of my back and his other held the back of my head and lightly played with my hair.  

I shook my head the best I could in the position I was in.  "No."  I answered.

He sighed and the hand that rested on the small of my back moved to wrap around my waist and pull me closer, into a tighter hug.  "You and your Dad were close?"

"Yes. He was the one who raised me." 

The tears trailed from my eyes to my cheek bones and because of how my head was tilted, it was there that they dripped down onto the skin of Taichi's neck. Taichi's hand continued to play with my hair and it felt so soothing that I found myself falling to sleep in his arms. I hadn't even noticed when the arm that rested along his was dropping to my side and I didn't notice as my eyes drifted shut... I was so exhausted; the emotional stress finally was leaving me as I found myself drifting to sleep. I don't know if he realized I was seconds to dream land when his voice woke me up again, but not because it was loud for it was quite soft and soothing but because it was a change from the silence that had taken over. 

"I'm not going to lie to you, Yamato." He said quietly. "Whatever's happening with your father may not have a good outcome but what you feel right now, even if it's a month from now or a year from now, will go away. I know it must hurt to watch your father... leave..." he said, conscious of the words he was using, "but the pain will fade with time if you let it."

I nodded into his shoulder as the tears dried from my eyes and I realized where I had been about to fall to sleep. 

I pulled away from him as much as I could go with his arms around me like that. "It's going to be okay." He told me seriously. "It'll be okay..."

I nodded and pushed away from him, feeling exhausted and ashamed for having broken down in front of him like that. I looked out the window again to notice it was pouring down harder then before. 

"Yamato?" 

"...Yeah?" 

"... You okay to drive or do you think you're up to it." I thought about it for a moment and didn't really want to get out into the pouring rain to switch seats but I knew I was in not condition to drive. 

"I think you should." He nodded and instead of me getting out, he had and I just moved over to his seat. When he got in he started the car and drove off. 

Not long later we had pulled back into the lot and parked the car before he turned it off and we got out.  Taichi and I moved to the front of the vehicle where we just kind of stared at each other a moment, neither of us not so sure on what to say. Finally he found the words to spoke and said "You okay, now.  If you want I can get someone to take over for me and go back with you?"

I shook my head.  "No.  It's okay. I'm okay..."  He nodded and another silence came as the rain lightened up into the mist from earlier.  "Well," I started, not sure of what else to say, "Bye... I'll see you again."  He nodded and smiled at me.  

"Yeah.  I'll see you.  Good bye."  

I nodded my head and turned to walk away, feeling as if I should say something but I couldn't figure it out.  it wasn't until I got to the exit that I realized what I needed to say and when I turned around to see Taichi's form walking a way I shouted, "Taichi?"  I

He stopped walking turned to look at me. His eyes were squinted to protect them from the misty rain. "Yes?"

I hesitated a moment, opening my mouth a bit, trying to get the words out before shouting.  "… I don't hate you, too."

He smiled at that.  "I'm glad."

The next three days I sat, unmoving from my father's side and watched as his condition grew worst and worst. Well, maybe it was not unmoving since I had been told many times to go home and get rest.  I was not allowed to be at the hospital after nine p.m. but when I got home I could not will myself to sleep.  Every time I closed my eyes I would see him, in his hospital room struggling to breath.  Chest contracting and expanding heavily, desperate for air that he was not getting.  His neck was stretched out as much as he could. Stretching it as if this would help him breath and his mouth was held wide as his mouth seemed to try and gulp in air like someone would water.

My mother had stopped my brother from going after the fourth day since the more he was there the more nightmares plagued his dreams and I wish that I could do something to just end this misery.  My mom, over the past week, had drunk so much coffee that she was shaking and the cup she held spilled on her every now and then.

I sighed and walked to her.  "Mom."  I said as I took the coffee she held in her hand.

"Yamato, what are you doing?"  Her voice was shaky I noticed as I pried the cup from her fingers.

"I think you've had enough.  Why don't you sit down?"  I suggested.  She looked down at her shaking hands and had to agree with me as she took the seat I had been in as I went to dispose of the coffee cup.  I sighed when I realized she had been taking it black and wondered how she managed it.

After I had dumped the coffee out, I had headed back to the room.  I heard sobbing as I reached the door and when I entered Mom had her arms over my father and her face buried in his stomach while he held her the best he could, him having been awake now.  His stomach seemed to be shuddering though I was used to seeing that after two days of it.

I felt so helpless, watching my family fall to pieces for the second time in my life… Finally the seventh day past and his surgery was there. His last chance and I hoped he'd be able to live through it. 

It was so weird that day too.  Not so much the day though, as my memory of the day.  I mean, I remember it fine but it seems wrong in my mind, for in my head I try to picture it and I can't remember any sounds though I can remember people talking and what they were saying.  I remember sitting in three chairs that were by this desk that led into the ER.

Doctors were moving back and forth in front of my mother, brother and me and, though I know that the shoes must have clicked on the hard hospital floor, I can't remember hearing it at the time.  I remember watching people walk by and seeing there lips moving and not hearing it.  We had waited out in the hall for a long time and finally a noise, I'm not sure which noise since I don't remember really hearing one, but there must have been one that alerted me to a doctor who was coming down the hall.  My brother remained seated while my mother and I stood up.

My mother rushed towards the doctor and must have asked how the operation went.  I saw her pale lips moving, she wore no makeup, and I remember the doctor looked pained and his lips moved though nothing I could hear came out but my mother looked so distressed and she appeared to break into a hysteric cry while my brother sat stock still and I remember I had a tremendous amount of pain enter my heart and I had wanted to die.  I had wished Yukio was there, for he could have caught me when I fell to the ground crying while my brother stayed neutral.

I remember thinking I had to be strong for my family but I couldn't stop the tears for the world… it just hurt too much.


	4. Recovery

****

**Chapter 4**

****

Yukio had gone to the funeral with me.  I had asked him to leave his pager behind and he had done so.  He held me throughout the funeral while the tears danced down my cheeks.  Yukio had kept saying how it was going to be okay, that _I_ was going to be okay but I felt like it was going to be quite the opposite.

We had a fair amount of people at the funeral, people from Dad's work, people I've never met from the family, family members I _had_ me, all who were somehow connected to my father was there to grant their final goodbyes.  Sad faces surrounded the casket that was slowly being lowered into the ground while I cried into my boyfriend's shoulder.  

I heard a sudden wail, louder then the cries coming from the other, and turned to see my mother swiftly turn away walk away as the priest says his last words.  I had looked around me, to see the reactions everyone else was carrying at the event of my fathers death and I saw many tear streaked faces but the one I had expected it from most was my brother but…

My brother stood watching the whole ceremony with a neutrality in which I thought was not natural.  His eyes were hardened and were cold to the world, his back was tense, his fists were clenched but there were not visible emotion except that.    

It was so different for him to be like this.  I can't remember a day in my life in which a shimmer of hope hadn't flickered in his eyes but now there wasn't even that. 

I had tried to talk to him after the funeral but I'm not even sure if he had heard me.  He just stared ahead with that same vacant look and I knew inside he was crying, he was dying.  I didn't like this but I didn't know what to do.  Yukio said he just needed time to except this but I wasn't sure.  He just seemed so dead.  I didn't want to loose another family member.

Takeru had been in University that year.  It was his final year… he dropped out.  He had been training to be a veterinarian but he gave up on that dream, I suppose.  I didn't know he dropped out till it was too late, neither did anyone else?  My mom wanted to send him to a psychiatrist after that but he was of-age and didn't need to go if he didn't want to.

He spoke seldom and wrote a lot.  He had locked himself in his room at my mother's house for months on end.  He had a computer there and he just sat at the computer writing story after story then soon moved onto novels.

Mom said it was good he was getting his anguish out some how and was actually starting to worry about me.  Mom always worried about everyone except herself.  I never thought this was right for her to do so, so I always told her I was fine to appease her worry.

As for how I handled my father's death, work became hectic.  I nearly cut my fingers off many times and nearly got fired when I almost dropped boiling water on someone because I hadn't shouted hot when I was passing someone.

Ivan had suggested I take a vacation but I refused since work was the one thing I could do to keep my mind off my family problems… and when I was not working at the restaurant or at home, I would play my guitar and write lyrics as I did when I was in high school.

Slowly, more slowly then I would ever wish upon my worst enemy, the pain I held inside started to decrease as Taichi's promise turned out true.   

It took six months for this to be and I was turning twenty five soon.  I didn't care much for birthdays and I was _not_ looking forward to this one.  I was going to be one quarter of a century old and that seemed too old for me.  It would be nice, though, to get a small cake and a bottle of wine and celebrate with my boyfriend alone but I doubted he'd be able to get out of work for the day.  By the way, I wasn't about to ask him to ditch a paycheck for a day I cared little for.

The snow outside was a few inches deep but when I headed out one day.  I wanted to go visit my father's grave since I hadn't gone back since the funeral six months before and I felt as if I was finally starting to heal from his death.  By the way, he needed a seasons greeting too.

I had taken a taxi to the graveyard down on Yield Street.  I had found the name of the street a bit ironic but never gave it much thought and still would like not too.

I wore a heavy brown coat as I walked down the shoveled walk into the graveyard.  It was cold and I bet my ears, cheeks, and nose were turning red from the nipping winds.  The sky was covered in deep grey clouds and a light wind blew through the yard and ruffled my hair a bit.  I turned off the path towards the head stone I knew was my father's.  My black boots kicked through the deep snow as I walked.

I came to a halt in front of my father and looked down at the engravings on the stone:

'_Ishida Masaharu._

_Beloved Father and Cherished son.'_

I kneeled in the snow and raised my hand to trace the letters with my slender index finger.  "Dad, I miss you," I whispered.  The snow melted under my knees and dampened my black slacks.  The cold the snow caused had made me shiver but I ignored that as I let my mind return to the times when I was a child to the time I had went out with my father to find a tux for prom.

"Hello."  I turned my head to see a tanned face I knew.

"Hello Taichi."  I had greeted back as I stood up onto my feet.

"How are you doing?"  Sympathy covered his voice as he stood no more then five feet from me in a deep blue winter coat and a suit.  His coat was open though he tugged it closed when he started feeling how cold it was.

"Better."  He nodded as I turned back to the grave stone.  "What are you doing here?"

"I was going home.  Work just finished, you know.  Anyways, I saw you head in here so I pulled over the car over to see how you were doing."  I nodded.  "He never made it?"  Taichi whispered.

"No… he didn't."

I heard his feet crunch through the snow as he took the steps needed to stand next to me.  A solemn silence cast upon us.  Nothing was needed to be said and neither of us wanted to say anything but I suppose it was an eventuality that the silence was going to be broken.

"You want to come with me?  We can go to this coffee shop I know."

"… Okay."  I had said.  I stood but continued to stare at the tomb stone for a moment longer before I felt Tai's hand gently cup my arm and softly pull my away.

It wasn't long before Taichi pulled into a parking lot of a coffee shop.  The place was fairly small in size and the parking lot was near empty.  The building was also a little far from any main roads so the place probably didn't get many customers.  I had wondered then and I wonder now how such a place could run on such low profits but the food was good and the drinks as well, though a bit expensive, and over all the place did look nice.

In fact, when we walked through the doors I was surprised at how nice the place _did_ looked.  The tables were reasonably small but black with black chairs, red cushions and the lights were rich looking and light music played.  The walls and floors were wood but gave the place a 'nineteenth century' look to it and the counter was also made from oak and painted black as well.  The employees wore classy things and pictures hung on the wall, paintings done by Van Gou and Monet.

Taichi led the way to a booth by a window and sat down on one side while I occupied the other.  Neither one of us spoke.  I didn't because I hadn't wanted to.  Talking seemed like such a tiresome thing to do and he didn't because… well, I wasn't sure as to why.  I guess he just knew I wasn't up for it so remained quiet at the time.

The silence was broken when a waitress addressed us and I ordered an espresso while he ordered a simple coffee.  Silence again resided as we sipped our drinks.  I stared out of the window at the slow paced street and, though I pretended not to notice, I could feel Taichi's eyes upon me, taking in every little detail.

After a while he broke the silence.  "So… how are you and Yukio?"

I shrugged and looked down at my drink.  "Okay, I guess."  He grunted in response.  My hair fell over my eyes and I looked up, through my bangs, to the brunet who was now looking deep into his half drunk coffee.  "May I ask you something?"  He raised his eyes at my question and waited for me to continue.  "Did you know I wasn't going to buy the car couple months ago?"

A small smile played on his lips as he nodded.  "Yeah.  Well, not at first, I had my suspicions but it was later when I saw how upset you were when I knew I had been right."

"If you thought I wasn't going to at first then why'd you let me drive in the first place?  What if you lost your job?"  He shrugged and looked down, away from my scrutinizing eyes.

"First of all, I'd be fired anyways if I didn't comply with a potential costumer's needs…"  

"But you said…"

"And second, you looked as if you needed it.  Driving is a good way, I find, to let off steam or help sort out my thought.  Also, if I had been sure at that time, if you were only pretending to want to buy a car, I mean, for the right reasons, I would have let you drive mine.

I smiled softly at him.  "Yeah, it did."  He smiled too and we held each other's gaze for a moment before both of us realized we had been staring into each other's eyes too long and both looked down, both of us slightly embarrassed.  It was now that I was starting to rethink what I had thought of him when we were younger.  Maybe he wasn't a rude, arrogant, prick but a nice, carring person and i had just looked over this in my anger.  At that moment I regretted ever hating him, ever fighting with him, ever wanting to see him upset because he was a person who seemed to deserve it least.  "I'm sorry."  I said.  The words surprised even me as they slipped past my lips and I know I surprised him for his head shot up and he studied me again.

"For what?"

I gave a bitter laugh and shook my head.  "For everything.  For all the fighting from when we were younger, for calling you things you weren't, for…"  I blushed.  "For saying your ex cut off your…"  My blush deepened and I saw a smile cross his face as I looked at him through my bangs, again.  "I'm just sorry."  I finished, blush fading from my cheeks.

"Well… it looks like this ship goes two ways 'cause I'm sorry too.  I had thought so many things about you.  Apparently they were wrong."

I looked at him, curiously.  "What did you think of me?"

Tai chuckled.  "Well, no offence, but I thought you were stuck up... among other things."  My eyes widened as I looked right at him.

"Really?  Is that what people think when they first see me?"

Taichi laughed.  "No.  No, it was just because, well, when we met you had called me a slob for some reason or another and I just thought you were stuck up because of that.  I can't even remember why you called me that."

I narrowed my eyes.  "I can.  You made me knock over all my books right after you knocked _me down and you didn't even apologize."_

He tried to look sorry for it but apparently found it funny that I still seemed to be angry for such insignificant things after all this time.  "Well, if it means anything, I'll apologize now.  Sorry."  I nodded though found the situation slightly amusing as well but I tried to hide my smile by dipping my head to sip at my espresso.

We had talked long after that, for hours, about how life was now and our jobs and Taichi told me how he had dated a few girls and, a few months ago, a guy.  That surprised me some and he said he found it was quite nice dating both sexes and had decided he was bi.  I hadn't known what to do with the information at first before figuring there wasn't anything needed to be done with it, so I decided not to fret.

It was hours later in which he had driven me home.  He had walked me to my door in order to allow are conversation to finish.  He concluded his sentence and I chuckled at the announced experience of his while he just smiled at me, a gleam to his eyes I had never seen in them before.  

I stopped laughing and smiled too, feeling not quite as lonely as I felt only hours before and I marveled at the swing of my mood it had taken while talking to Taichi.  But the positive feeling I felt just then faded as I realized something, as Taichi and I stood staring at each other, and the realization made me worry.  It felt so much like the end of a date.

"Well,"  I said as I looked away and squirmed while trying to find something to say.  "I better go in and start on supper for Yukio and I, you know, for when he gets home."

He nodded but seemed confused at the sudden change of atmosphere.  "Okay.  Yeah. I'll see you around."  I nodded and gave him a smile as I pulled out the key and pushed open the door to let myself in.  I turned around and watched as Taichi started walking back to his car, which was parked on the side of the street. 

As i watched him walk across my lawn I remembered that feeling i felt when i was walking out of the dealership after Taichi had helped sooth my sorrows six months ago. The feeling was with me again, the feeling in which tells me that something that is unsaid needs to be spoken and it's me who needs to speak it. My thoughts circled around this for less then a minute before the realization came to me that this could very well be the last time I ever see the brunette. 

This thought troubled me, troubled me so much that I found myself unintentionally shout out, "Taichi!"  He froze as he was getting into his car and looked at me in wait.  Surprised by my own actions I stammered a moment, trying to find the words I needed.  "Um... I... Uh... Well..."  I knew Taichi was growing impatient so I quickly, and a bit loudly, said, "You want to… um… do something, sometime?" 

Taichi smiled, "Yeah, sure.  I gave you my number right?"

I smiled.  "Yeah.  Good.  I'll see you then!"  

"Alright.  Bye!"  He then got into his car, started it up before waving his last good bye and left.  

"…Goodbye..."

Yukio hadn't come home till sometime early next morning. I was surprised, at first, when I hadn't woken up with him laying beside me, so I had gotten up to see if he was even home yet. I had been slightly worried when he wasn't there and, though I was a bit relieved when I found him fully clothed and asleep on the coach, I was still worried but now for a different reason.

To be truthful, I was really starting to wonder if Yukio had been only stayed with me because he felt he had to.  It didn't seem like he wanted to be around me much and I soon found myself nit picking my appearance.  Looking in the mirror and searching for every little thing that was wrong with me and seeing if I could possibly change it.

I went on a diet one day. Deciding that maybe he didn't find me attractive and that my diet was what I could change to make him attracted to me again.  It was a vegetable diet I went on, green salads mostly, but I also had fruit every now and then.  I don't know if I actually needed to even go on a diet at all but what I did know was that it hadn't been months since Yukio and I had eaten together and longer since he had even looked at me as if he actually wanted me.

The diet had seemed to have worked, too, after only two and a half weeks because one day, so close to my birthday, he came home early.  I don't think he ever came home early before… well, maybe he had, but it would have had to have been a long time before.  

I had been working in the kitchen when he had called for me, surprising me greatly.  I answered by saying where he could find me then listened as he walked across the house towards this room.  I had been about to cut an onion and was bracing myself for the tears when I felt his arms wrap around my waist while he rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"  He asked.  I had felt myself blush but pushed it back.

"You're in a good mood."  I stated.

"Hm."  He agreed.  "I am."  He reached forward with a hand and grabbed the onion before I could start on it.  "Why don't we go out tonight?  Your birthday's tomorrow, isn't it?"

"It's in two days."  I said, liking where this conversation was going.  

"Well, I'm free tonight.  Why don't we celebrate it now?  We can go out to eat if you want.  We'll go to that new Italian place that just opened, what's it called?"

"La Notte il cielo?!"  I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, there."

La Notte il cielo was a nice restaurant on the far side of the city.  I had heard great things about it lately and had been dying to try it out sometime.  I was so excited that I'd get to go there that an important thought had nearly escaped me.  "What if we need a registration?"

"I've got one."  He stated simply.

"Really?"  I had asked, even further surprised.

"Yeah.  Someone I know was going to cancel there registrations but I said that we'd take their place.  What do you think?"

I gaped as I turned around in his arms.  "This is great."  I threw my arms around him to show my gratitude and hugged tightly, smiling further as I felt him hug me back.

"Good.  Go get ready.  We need to be there in an hour."  I nodded, was granted a kiss, and took off towards our room.

An hour later and we were there, walking through the doors of La Notte il Cielo and marveling at the elegance of the place.  The buildings exterior was something to marvel at but the interior was indescribable.  I couldn't even begin to tell you how beautiful it all looked.  I could tell you the carpeting was black and the colour of the wallpapered but this doesn't even start to describe the beauty of it and I don't think anyone's capable of giving the place the description it deserves.

A waiter took us to our seats with a dim light above it and a small flower ornament was in the center of the table, candle was in the center which made the petals seem to glow.  The flame was above the flowers and the wax was a lovely purple color which was the same colour as the flowers.

The waiter set menus on the table before walking off and I gave the place another look over.

"Wow.  This place _is impressive?"  I looked around the room again and at each of the black tables filling the room and could only image how the room looked like from above.  "It's beautiful…"_

My boyfriend took a quick glance around.  "It is something, isn't it?  I knew you'd like it."  He looked at me, straight in the eyes and gave me a smile.  I returned the smile as I gazed into his eyes.  I was shocked, though I didn't let it show, when I saw an emotion in the depth of his eyes in which I hadn't expected.  Guilt.  I wondered on it, for a few, as to what he had to feel guilty for.  Maybe it was because he had to work so much? 

Satisfied that this was the reason I gave him a wider smile to show how grateful I was for what he was doing for me that night.  Maybe he'd understand that it made up for some of the time we had apart.  

For a moment I thought he understood what I was trying to say but then he turned his eyes away from me, looked down at the menu in front of him and opened it, avoiding my eyes.  "What's wrong?"  I asked, surprised by his behavior towards me.  I even, for a moment, thought that maybe the diet hadn't worked like I wanted it too or something but had shook off the feeling and waited for his response.

"Hm… nothing, why?"  He asked, still not looking at me.  "Wow.  Look at all the pasta's."

I frowned at the change of subject but didn't try to press for answers as for why.  Slightly loosing my cheerful demeanor, I reached for my menu and opened it as well.  "Yeah."

Moments later the waiter came by and took our order.  When he left, a silence was left as well and, with him not looking at me and me feeling as if, maybe, I shouldn't look at him either, it left the atmosphere awkward.

Finally, desperate for some kind of interactions, I spoke.  "So, I ran into Taichi the other day."

Now he looked at me.  I met his eyes and numerous emotions past through them.  Anger, worry, jealousy, fear… eventually they subsided and he said.  "Oh.  When was this?"  He said it so calmly, so naturally, that I started doubting what I thought I saw pass through him a moment before.

"Two/three days ago.  I saw him a couple weeks back, as well.  We're becoming friends now and talk sometimes on the phone."

"Really?"  He asked though I could tell, now, that the calmness was forced.  I nodded.  "How are you two becoming such good friends all of a sudden?  At the reunion you almost seemed to hate him."

"I know… I did.  I feel bad, though, because he's nothing like I thought he was… or maybe he changed, I don't know.  It's weird."  I looked down at the water on the table as I remembered our arguments from high school and how I had gotten so angry when anything happened in his favor… maybe it was me that changed though.  Either way, I was happy with this change.

"What's weird?"

I had looked up, confused for a moment then I remembered.  "Oh, uh.  Just how different the two of us are from when we were younger.  That's all."  I gave him a smile but all he did was frown.

"When did this all start?"  He asked, no longer trying to sound calm.

"What start?"  He sighed, sounding exasperated, and I suddenly felt very stupid for not understanding what he was asking.

"Your and Taichi's new found friendship."

I shrugged and looked down.  "I don't know.  Maybe two weeks ago, maybe even the week my… my father had been in the ho-hospital."  I stuttered.  I didn't like talking about that event and I did not want to even think about it right now.

His frown deepened.  "Why didn't you tell me you had seen him _then_?"

I looked back up at him and gave him a quizzical look.  "Are you jealous?"

He narrowed his eyes.  "Should I be?"

I narrowed my eyes right back.  "He's my friend, Yukio.  My only friend, in fact, since I lost all my old friends when we moved into that house you picked and now you're jealous of my _friend_.  What do you want?  Do you want me to just give him up because you're irrationally jealous?  Do you want me to give up the only one I can talk to since you're always at work?"

"I'm at work all the time so I can save away in order to retire early, so I can spend all my time with _you_ when I get older."  He defended.

"Maybe it's not the future you should be worrying about."

He paused for a moment and again I saw that fear pass through his eyes.  I thought, then, that maybe he was afraid of loosing me  and that that was the reason he was jealous of Taichi.  I also thought that maybe I had went overboard with that last statement.  "What are you implying?"  He asked, forcing that calmness again.

I looked away.  "Well, I wonder if you even want to be with me anymore.  I… well I'm always alone and have no one to talk to and I'm lucky to see you when you're awake…"  I look down at my drink and say, though sounding quite unsure, "… I just wonder, sometimes, if it would be better… for both of us… if I… left…"

I looked up through my bangs and watched as his eyes opened wide.  "No, no, no."  He said in a rushing voice, hands crossing the table and gripping mine, his arms on either side of the flowers.  "Baby, I _do_ want you.  It's just that I'm a lawyer and I need to do my work and I have a lot of it.  I was lucky to get off today for this.  I have this Matsuchita case where he's being blamed for plagiarizing and another case where this guy, who I'm sure is guilty, is saying he had nothing to do with the burglary at the record store and I'm behind on all this paper work I got only two days ago.  I only have one secretary and she's still checking over the paper work I finished just before I got this knew load.  I'm really busy."

I gaped at him, trying to imagine what it would be like to have so much to have to be done.  "What do you do all day when you're at work?  You're down at the firm for more then sixteen hours a day."

He shook his head and squeezed my hands.  "There're just not enough hours in a day.  I try to do it all but… there's a lot. "

I thought this over a bit as I watched him then slowly nodded.  "Okay."  I start.  "I understand.  I'm sorry."

He smiled and lifted my left hand.  "Thanks, babe."  He pressed his lips to my knuckles and the small gesture comforted any other worries scampering through my mind.  I offered him a fairly weak smile as I took my hands back.  "So…" He asked, getting our conversation to more friendly grounds.  "When have you become a vegetarian?"  He had said and I knew he was referring to my choice of meal.

I shrugged trying to sound casual.  "Few weeks.  Thought I'd start to eat healthy.  By the way, working in that restaurant was really making me put on the pounds."

He laughed.  "I doubt that.  With your metabolism, I'm surprised you haven't starved yet."  I lightly glared at him, though I wasn't really offended.  In fact, in a sort of twisted why, I was flattered and instantly relieved to know that, maybe, he wasn't loosing interest in me.

We talked lightly for an hour or more until the food came and when it did I was pleasantly surprised at how good it tasted.  With being a chef I had learnt to distinguish certain taste from one an other and I remember I had sat there, figuring and remembering what spices were in what and what vegetable where in it.  I was also thinking up ways to make it better and change it to give it a new taste… make it spicy or give it a 'zangy' kind of taste.

My boyfriend and I had exchanged a bite of each other's food and I had started explaining to him how I assumed his meal was made and with what ingredients.  He listened with interest and amazement as I told him how I would add onions to it, minced since I only wanted the smallest about of taste from it to be added and what else could be changed to be more to his liking.  

 "You _really_ are good at what you do.  I'm impressed."  Yukio said, seemingly out of no where.  None the less a large smile spread across my face as I took another bite of my meal, while hoping the light blush across my cheeks wasn't as noticeable as I thought it'd be.

"I hope so or all that money I spent at University was for nothing."

He chuckled.  "I guess so."

When we had finished, he had insisted that he paid for it all, course who am I to disagree, and, after he paid, we left.  Moments later we were getting into his black BMW and, like usual, he drove.  

I looked out of the vehicle's windows and watched at the dark, lamp lit streets we were driving by.  My eyes roamed from car to car as I wondered what the reason these people had to be out as well, if maybe they had the night shift at where ever they worked, or if they were driving to meet family, or something.  

I then looked up at the night sky and gazed at the full moon, surrounded by some twinkling stars, knowing that I'd be able to see me if I left the city grounds.  I tried to picture in my mind just how many stars I would see by leaving the city.  I was brought out of my thoughts as a warm hand was placed just above my knee and I looked over at my boyfriend who smiled back lovingly to me.  

I remember thinking, as I smiled back, watching as Yukio's eyes darted from me to the road, how nice the night was going and the feeling of disappointment that it was coming to a close.  I wondered if Yukio had been able to see what I felt in my eyes because he then turned back to the road, squeezing my leg one lightly before he pulled away and placed it on the wheel, and said, "Hey.  I've got an idea.  Why don't we pick up a bottle of wine?  It's Friday.  The wine store should still be open, shouldn't it?"

I was surprised, to say the least, and hastily replied, "Uh, yeah, yeah!  It would be, I think.  Let's try."

I had felt myself blush when he looked at me out of the corner of his eyes with a look that told me he thought I was 'cute' in a word he used.

Soon he had pulled into The Wine Rack which was a store that specified in selling wines, though they did sell other drinks as well, and Yukio parked the car.

We were walking into the store before I knew it and looking over the assortment of wines in which they carried.  There were so many, all with different brands and different tastes, and I had suggested us asking the employee who worked there to help us find the sweetest kind since neither of us were wine experts, but Yukio insisted that he knew what he was doing and continued looking up and down the walls in which was lined with wine bottles.

Fifteen minutes of no decision, I was ready to go ask myself.  He had his one arm wrapped around my waist and his hand resting on my hip while my arms were crossed over my chest and my eyes were rolling every moment he refused to ask for help.

It was then that a high pitched voice said, "Why, hi Yukio."  I turned my head to my left to see a woman of, maybe twenty, walking towards us with long brown hair and smiling green eyes.

Yukio jerked his hand away from me, which had surprised me, and smiled, though, I could tell, he was nervous.  "Um… Hi Claudia."  He said as if trying to imply something into the words by the tone he used.  He glanced at me briefly and back to her.  "This is Yamato… My boyfriend… You know.  The one I was telling you about"  He spoke each word carefully and I watched him warily.

A look of understanding and surprise lit up her face.  "Oh."  She said as carefully as he had.  "Well… I just came over here to say hi… Hi… and I guess I'll go, now."  She said.  I waited a moment for her to walk away so I could question my boyfriend on his odd behavior but, just then, a man walked up to her.

"Claudia, I think I found the…"  He then seemed to have noticed us and smiled.  "Hello."  He said politely.

"Hello."  My boyfriend said.  I raised an eyebrow at him as I heard that forced calmness again.  "I'm Claudia's boss, from work."  He explained to the man.

"Oh."  He said, understanding.  "I'm her husband, Daniel."

I was surprised at this.  "Husband.  Aren't you guy's kind of young for that.  You both only look twenty a bit over."  I asked as politely as my confused mind could make me sound.

He turned his eyes to me, yet again they were confused and probably wondering who I was, but he answered anyways.  "We eloped when we turned eighteen."  He then grabbed her hand and squeezed it while smiling lovingly at her.  She smiled back but her eyes looked worrisome.

"Well, I think we should go."  She said, voice also sounding of forced calmness.  She held her free hand out to me and I shook it.  "It's nice meeting you."

"You to."  I said pulling my hand back but was a bit grossed out when I realized how sweaty her hand was, even considering that it was relatively cool in the store.  

My boyfriend shook hands with Claudia's husband before the man shook hand with me as well and they walked off but when I looked back to Yukio I noticed he seemed relieved.

He gave me a smile and took my hand as the man had taken Claudia's.  "Well, what wine do you want?  After all, it's your birthday."  I rolled my eyes.

"I'll go ask the employee."

Though I had wanted to know why Yukio seemed so nervous around Claudia, I didn't entertain the curiosity in me.  Instead I decided to enjoy the evening with my boyfriend, the evening, in which, had went well.

I do, now, wish that I had questioned him about it for reasons that I will get to later.  Maybe it is quite obvious to some one sitting in the third seat or maybe not, I'm not sure, but I do know that I was quite oblivious what my future inquisitions would find out but, as I said, I'll get to that later.  

That night went well.  We had talked and caught up on the more recent events of each other's work lives.  We had joked with each other and I think the wine had started making me giddy… Or maybe it was the look of complete adoration that he held in his eyes that made me feel so excited but, some time that night, we had found each other lip locked.  

I was sinking into the cushions of our upper living room couch, with him on top hold my hips while the fire in the fire place flickered its yellow, red and blue flames.  

A/N:  Boy, did this chapter take a while but I'm happy with it even if it did insistently piss me off at some spots.  Anyways, I think you'll like the next chapter.  Taichi constantly picks on Yamato and in chapter six… Yamato gets revenge… But don't worry, there's lots of angst too…

Review if you want more! ^_^


	5. Company

Desclaimer: I don't own Digimon.

A/N: Sorry about having it take so long with this chapter.  I've had problems with editing it and my computer's been really messed up with something about the BIOS ROM chip… whatever… also I had social problems that I had to deal with (including my sister hitting puberty, which had played a part in causing this chapter to take so long in coming out, and my ex-boyfriend cheating on me and breaking up with me, because of it, on Valentines day –though I do have the best best-friend a person could have) and other concerns which are still playing it's part.  So anyways, those are some of me reasons (excuses) for not having this chapter out a lot sooner then it is.  Sorry, again, for the long wait and I hope you enjoy chapter five.   

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**Chapter 5**

The next day I had woken to the feeling of little feathery kisses that trailed along my shoulder.  "Baby."  Yukio whispered into my ear.

"Hm?"  I asked as I nuzzled into the warm, sweat damp chest that I lay face down upon.  I felt his hand roam up and down the curve of my back before it looped around and his fingers hooked around my waist.  He pulled lightly causing me to roll slightly as he tried to pull himself out from under me.

I opened my one eye as I lay exposed on the coach.  I looked up at him blurrily as he lifted himself to his feet.  He looked down at my weary form and smile.  His hand came up and smoothed my hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear as he spoke.  "Babe, I need to go to work now and I think you'll feel better after a shower."

I nodded as I struggled to sit up while my head felt dizzy and all I wanted to do was fall back to sleep.  "What time is it?"  I asked quietly.

"Seven Thirty a.m.  I have lots of work to do so I have to leave, 'kay."  I nodded as I sat on the edge of the couch with my face in my hands trying to force back my exhaustion.

"You can take a shower first."  I had said.  He nodded and took off, in the buff, towards the shower.

It had been rather calm the following few days and I almost felt disheartened by the fact that I saw less of Yukio during those days then I saw him during any other time period before.  I had to keep reminding myself that Yukio has been really busy, that he told me this himself.  It had been four days that I had not seen him at all, where food had just disappeared sporadically, and I had started to worry, yet again, of his attraction towards me.

Seven days later I found myself searching though the aisles of a grocery store looking at the ingredients of a can good.  A plastic basket hung on my crooked arm which only carried a few items so far.

I swept my hand through my hair as I double checked to make sure everything that's in it was suitable for my boyfriend's diet before placing it in the basket as well.  I turned quickly but was startled into a quick stop by a body not an inch away.  I step back and look at the face of my once rival.

"Sorry, if I scared you."  He said then grinned to show he wasn't really.

I glared.  "I bet.  What are you doing here?"  I asked.

"Shopping.  This is a grocery store, you know."

I glowered for a moment, having known it was a dumb question before having asked it.  "Yeah, well.  If you were standing there, why didn't you say hi instead of letting me almost run you over like that?  ."

He looked to the person who walked by, almost nervously, and stuffed his hands into his jeans.  I wasn't expecting you to move so fast."

"Oh."  I said simply, glare vanishing from my face.  I walked around him and continued to look upon the shelves of can goods.  He followed, walking beside me with a basket of his own.

"You must not be planning to get much."  He stated, referring to the fact that I was using a basket instead of a grocery cart.

I eyed him out of the corner of my eye and looked at his basket.  "You not either?"

"I just have to pick up some snacks since I'm going to my parents tonight.  What about you?"

I turned my attention to the path a head of me as I turned into another aisle.  I shook my head.  "I'm not getting much.  Don't have the car today so I'll have to walk home and I can't carry that much."

"If you want," he offers.  "I can give you a lift.  Get what you need, kay?"

I looked at him as I stopped walking.  "No.  It's alright."

He just grinned as he stops with me and shakes his head.  "Just take the offer while it's on the table.  By the way, you'd just need to come back again if you don't, and I'm sure you don't want to make a million trips to this place when you could only make one."

I look onto the shelf, pick up a loaf of bread and look for the expiry date while being reminded why I hate the grocery store so much.  "Alright."  I say.  After finding the date and being pleased with it, I put it into the basket.  "What do you need?  We'll get it first then I need something bigger then this basket."

He grinned as he led the way.  "So, how are you and Yukio?"  He asked while watching my face.

"Good."  I say shortly.  He chuckled lightly and adverted his eyes away to watch the aisle ahead.

"I doubt that."

I was taken back at his bluntness and asked, sounding offended that he was calling me on my lie, "And why's that?"

He glanced back at me.  "Because you frowned when I said his name."

I blinked.  "Well, I wasn't exactly smiling with joy before?"

"I guess you're right."  He said, though not taking back his earlier assumption.  It went quiet between us as we just walked threw the store and I started thinking about Yukio.  

For some reason, I can't remember why, but I finally said, "Not bad."  

"Hm?"  Taichi asked curiously, probably wondering what I meant by that.  

            "You asked how Yukio and I are.  Well, it's not bad, I suppose.  He just works a lot, that's all.  I don't really see him much. 

 "Yeah, I kinda thought so."  

I turn my head to look at him with narrowed eyes.  "And what makes you kinda think so?"

He shrugs.  "Just that it looked that way at the reunion.  He practically ditched you to go to work.  Great sign of a workaholic."

I sighed.  "My father was a workaholic, too.  That's what my dad liked most about him, was how much he was devoted to his job."

The grin left Taichi's face then and he glanced at me in an almost sympathetic way.  "To bad he's not devoted like that to you, huh?"

My eyes widen slightly.  "He is… just, his work keeps him busy.  By the way, he says he's trying to retire early so we could be together more in are later years."

"To bad that will still take twenty, thirty years for that 'early retirement'.  And _you'll_ still be working then."

My eyes narrowed again.  "You're making it sound awful.  It's not like that."  

"Tell me at what point did I lie."

I had snorted as I thought but only came to a painful conclusion.  He was right.  For twenty or thirty years I would be completely alone and he'd be coming home for, maybe, six hours a day and I'll always be doing the groceries and house keeping, and working part time at that restaurant… but… but it wouldn't be like that always, I had thought hopefully.  Yukio would still come in now and then with surprises such as the surprise he had for me seven or so days before.  Also Taichi and I were now friends so that means life was getting better.  

            Even as these thoughts ran through my mind I knew it was pure non-sense but it was what I needed to hear.  

"See?"  Taichi said suddenly, bringing my mind back its thoughts.  

            I realized, then, that I had stopped walking when I plunged into my thoughts but now that I was being brought out of them I started moving again, head held high as I responded, "You don't know what you're talking about."

Taichi smiled slightly, "Sure…" 

            But the subject was dropped.  

We had finished our shopping and pilled our stuff into his Xterra.  He drove me home and helped me lug the bags of groceries into the house.  The moment I put down the first bunch of bags I started putting them away as he went back to his car to get the last few more

"Anyways," Taichi began when he came back.  "Did I tell you, you have an awesome house?"

"Yeah, you might have mentioned something along those lines."

He placed the bags on the island counter.  "Good 'cause it is.  Man, you're doing good for yourself."

I shook my head, not even in the slightest flattered for I knew that I wouldn't even be living in such a place if it weren't for Yukio.  "Yeah, well my boyfriend has a good paycheck.  It's his money that pays for the place and, with him working up to 120 hours a week, it's easy to see why."  I forced to keep my voice from sounding bitter as I continued putting away the groceries.

He pulled a few things out of a bag and asked where they went.  I told him and, together, we put the groceries away.  When we finished and had all the bags stashed away for what ever convenience I could find for them later, he said.  "You know, I don't have to visit my parents for a few more hours, would you mind the company?"

"No.  Not at all."  I said, probably more quickly then I should have.  Truthfully, I would've been grateful for any company I got.  It got so quiet in that house that it got on my every nerve and I found myself hoping for those annoying telemarketers to phone.  "But I have to warn you I'm really not used to entertaining guests."

He waved a hand through the air as if to dismiss the notion.  "Doesn't matter.  We can order food, talk or watch TV or something.  It is about time to eat anyways and I'm starving."  I shrugged.

"Alright, what do you want?"

"Pizza… no, Chinese food.  I hadn't had that in a while."

I smiled as I walked towards the phone and looked in the phone book for a Chinese food restaurant.  I hesitated a moment before saying, "Maybe I should just make something… If Yukio comes home then at least I could have something for him."

The smile left the brunet's face as the words left my mouth.  "And how often does he join you for super.  Just order.  You cook all day for everyone else; I think it's time to treat yourself."  I look back at him to see the smile back.

"Alright but I'll also order for Yukio, just in case."  

I had ordered a fair deal of Chinese food.  Enough to last me two or three days in leftovers but apparently it wasn't enough.

"That's all you're getting?  That's barely enough to feed _me_."  I raised an eyebrow at him as I placed back the phone back on the receiver.

"You couldn't possibly eat all that, not even half."  A cocky grin made it on his face.

"You have a lot to learn about me, don't you?"  I scowled and kept in the, possibly, nasty retort I had on the tip of my tongue as I walked into the living room with the brunet in toe.

An hour or so later we found each other sitting, crossed legged, on the grey soft cushions of my coach, face to face, while eating our food out of the take-out boxes.  Taichi smiled and talked enthusiastically to me with enough vigor to fuel a rocket.

A large smile was spread across my face and the foreign feeling it held told me I hadn't smiled like that in ages.  Even though he probably thought I appeared so happily because of his talk of his past triumphant soccer challenges the truth was that I found his enthusiasm on the subject to be amusing.  After all I had a feeling he was… 'exaggerating' some of what he was telling me.  I honestly never believed that he kicked a soccer ball, through the air, across the entire field with enough force to knock the goalie, off his feet, and into the net at the age of eight but I didn't argue with him on the subject, just rolled my eyes as he moved onto another false tale of is younger years while playing the game.  

After a while of quietly listening I decided to speak up, cutting him off in mid sentence which he hadn't really seemed to have minded.  "You know," I said, "The first time I heard of you, _the great Yagami Taichi soccer champ_, it was because you had, at least rumor had it, a temper tantrum on the middle of the soccer field at the school because your team lost the game."  I smirked as I saw his smile turn upside down into an irritated frown while a light burgundy color tinted his cheeks. 

His eyes spaced for a moment until the focused back on me in a defiant sort of way.  "When?"

"Tenth grade.  Some time in the beginning of the year."

Taichi sighed, but in good humor, as he said with closed eyes, "You have one tempter tantrum and they never let you live it down."  He sighed again as he opened his eyes with the smile back on his face.  "But it wasn't my fault… well it was… but they had to have been cheating.  I mean, they beat _me_.  Me _and_ Kenji, Ozaki, and Hikaru.  We were unbeatable together."

I took a bite of the take out food and looked at him curiously.  I swallowed before I said, "How could you cheat at soccer?"  

Taichi shrugged.  "Steroids or something.  I don't know I wasn't the one who cheated."  He took another bite before he continued.  "Speaking of which, I've heard stuff about you back then too."  

I cocked an eyebrow at that.  "Really.  Like what."  I chewed thoughtfully as he spoke.

"Well, just people were saying you were sleeping with people on my soccer team."  I nearly choked.  The food I had been swallowing was suddenly taken down the wrong air pipe as I attempted a gasp.  I found myself coughing while trying to breathe while tears were being brought to my eyes.  Taichi started hitting my back and before I knew it, air was flowing through me again.  

            "What?!"  I coughed out as I looked at his more-then-amused facial expression.  

            "You okay now."  He said sounding slightly concerned despite the humor in his voice.  

            I ignored his question.  "Are you serious?  Who was saying this?"  

            "Well, it was around the school for an about a week in grade eleven.  No one on the team really denied it, to be honest, so I kind of thought it was true as well."

            I shook my head as I wiped the tears from my eyes.  "Well it's not and, now thinking of it, the guys who usually just walked right by me as if I weren't even there started smiling at me and _acknowledging_ my existence for about a month that year.  I was wondering why."  I sighed as I rested relaxed again as I had been before.  "In fact, all through high school I was a virgin."

            Taichi's eyes widened when I said this.  "_Really_?  Wow!  I always found abstinence to be rea…"  He stopped suddenly as I stared at him, waiting for him to continue but all he did was cough nervously and advert his eyes for a moment.  "Um… heh… anyways," He stuttered as he looked back at me.  "When did you loose it?  You're virginity, I mean."  

            My expression didn't change.  "How about, _when did **you**?_"  

            He went through his nervous behavior once again, but quicker this time, and answered, "That's not really important.  After all, I've been talking all this time and I'd like to hear your voice now, since, might I add, it's very lovely."  I might have been flattered by the compliment if I didn't know he only said it to distract me form his obvious mistake.  

            I just scowled at him but answered anyways.  "Well, in honesty, my first time was on my graduation night."

            "Really?!  You waited till your high school graduation?!"  He said in obvious amusement and it was because of this behavior that made me think twice about telling him the truth but, in the end, I just happen to be an honest individual.  

            "Actually… College graduation…"  I felt myself blush as he gave me a cocky grin.  

            "Well, aren't you going to fill me in on all the dirty details?"  I scowled as I felt my blush strengthen.  

            "Actually, there wasn't anything dirty about it."  The scowl left my face as a subtle smile came to my lips upon memory of that night.  "Yukio was my first.  It was one of the best nights of my life.  Yukio and I had been sharing an apartment and he brought me home and surprised me with a meal he had cooked for me himself.  He had said some of the sweetest things to me.  Told me so many times how much he loved.  It was so nice. There was soft music, gentle lighting… just everything was so beautiful." When I finished I was trapped in the memory of that magical night but was rudely brought out of my reverie by the not so subtle laugh Taichi broke into.  I glared at him. "And what's wrong with that?" 

He forced himself to stop laughing as he chocked out the word, "Nothing." He laughed a bit again before he struggled to control his laughing again and said. "Just that it sounds so romantic." He mocked. "Did you do it by candle light? And you married your first." 

"We're not married." 

"Common law marriage." Tai countered with a giggle. I scowled as he continued to mock me. "You're a romantic. I didn't know that about you. How cute." And he continued to laugh as I scowled into my Chinese food. 

I took a bite of the food then swallowed. "Okay. That's enough. I don't want to talk about this any more." For some reason this made him laugh even more. I scowled further and turned forward on the couch, sinking my back into the cushions, as I took small bites of my food. 

He stopped laughing but the humor was still in his voice. "Aw. Don't pout." 

I glared at the coffee table in front of me. "I'm not pouting. I don't pout." 

"Yes you do. You're doing it now. Even your lip's all poofed out." He said as his hand came forward and his fingers softly held the lip he was referring to. I knocked the hand away and placed the take-out box on the coffee table as I stood up. I walked past him while looking straight forward then turned to go down stairs. I heard him stand as another giggle left him. "Aw. I'm sorry. I'll stop." 

"Sure sounds like it." I state dully. 

"Wait." he said as I reached the bottom of the steps in the little five by five area that leads to outside or the basement. I turned towards him, glare on my face, as I saw him. He was kneeling on the couch, looking over the railing to see me standing below him. "Oh Romeo, oh Romeo…" I growled as he laughed harder and fell onto the length of the couch. I continued to go down stairs. "Wait, let me let down my hair!" He continued. 

"Certainly long enough." I mumbled to myself. 

When I reached the basement I turned towards where my guitar was placed beside the couch. I walked over to and sat on the corner of the couch as I plugged the mentioned guitar into my amp and put on my head phones so I could hear what I was playing but no one else could. 

I started out playing a few simple cords, warming up with doe ra me fa… When I had thought myself warmed up enough I launched into one of my songs. 

A few moments into playing I felt Taichi's hand on my shoulder. I looked up and fixed him with a glare. 

He had a smile on his face, though no longer the cocky mockery of a smile he had before, as he pulled the ear phones off of me. I stopped playing. "What?" I said. 

"So you do still play. I was wondering." I snorted. 

"Like I'm about to give up my music." I muttered as I pulled back on the head phones. 

A moment later he pulled them back off. "Play something for me. After all I am your guest." 

"No. You're a nuisance." 

He sat down comfortably beside me. As I turned my head to glare at him as the head phones rested in his hands. "You still angry about me teasing you? Don't be. I was just playing with you." 

"Then play with someone else." I said as I continued to strum some cords, only barely being able to hear it through the headset that rested in the other's hands. 

"What? You can't be teased." 

"Not about that." I mumbled though I knew it was a stupid retort and hoped he hadn't heard. 

"Oh yeah. Forgot you were a romantic." The cocky grin was back. 

I turned and glared at him as I stopped strumming. "Well, sorry if candle light dinners appeals to me and I can't match your frenzy for one-night-stands." 

"You don't have to be sorry." He joked and, for some reason, my anger dimmed to half mass. 

I went back to playing my guitar and listened to the soft sounds coming through my headphones again. A few moments later Taichi stood and walked over to my amp, I continued to play, though kept a watchful eye on him while trying to pretend I wasn't. A moment later my music came booming through the speaker on my amp and the sudden loudness caused me to jump and hit ever wrong note before slamming my hand on the strings of my guitar to halt all noise. 

I glared at him as I heard the neighbor's dog bark in its yard next door. "Wow, that's loud." Taichi said his eyes wide like saucers after he had jumped away from the amp. 

"There are reasons I don't listen to myself play through the speaker in my amp." I state. 

Taichi shrugged. "Well, there's a way to turn down the volume, isn't there." 

"Yeah but my neighbor, Tabitha, will complain. She always complains. One time she complained while I had my headphones on. I don't know how she knew I was playing. I think she just doesn't like me." 

"Oh." Taichi said. "Well, this once won't hurt will it?" He asked. I smiled at the hopeful expression he held on his face. 

"I only play rock music, you know?" I asked. 

He nodded. "Yeah, I know. Your music's the only rock I've ever liked, to tell you the truth. I might have not admitted it in high school but I had been grateful when your band played at the prom because I didn't really want to listen and be forced to dance to music I hated." 

I smiled, proud of myself and my music. "Okay. Turn down the volume and if someone knocks on the door, you're answering it." 

Taichi laughed as he found the volume and turned it down. I started playing a melody and let the remainder of my anger flow from me and dissipate in the air around. 

I don't know how long I was playing for before my voice joined in. It felt good to sing again to have someone who could hear and cherish the words that left my mouth. I found myself closing my eyes as the tune flew from the speaker and surrounded my very soul. 

I listened to my voice, to the soft rhythm and the breathing of the other occupant of the room. The dog's barking had long given and as I continued to play I felt that overwhelming joy I always felt when playing for someone else. 

Some time had passed before I felt the last note being dragged out over my tongue as I played the last cord on my instrument. A short silence clouded the empty room until Tai's marveled voice reached my ears. "You're really good, you know?" 

I smiled, a sad smile, while I remembered, long ago, singing on stage with my band or on my own. The sensation it gave me was ecstasy. Something I'd always miss. The jumping and shouting crowds. The same words I was singing flowing from a hundred other people who all adored the hard work I put into ever lyric. "I've been told." I said simply. 

"Why'd you give up your band? You didn't seem to like playing as much when you where by yourself. When I came down first you looked like you were just doing it for something to occupy yourself with, but when you played just now… you were happy." The smile left my face as I placed my guitar down and turned off my amp. 

"I gave it up because it was childish to hold on to it. I was in University, training to be a chef. I had real work that needed to be done and, to continue it in hopes that someone would see me and think I was good enough to go professional then help me get there… I had to grow up. Yukio had been right about it. Dreaming to be a rock star was as childish as dreaming to be an astronaut. If I wasn't willing to devote myself to my studies then where would I go in life?" 

"Maybe you'd be someplace you'd like. Someplace that'd make you happy." Taichi said softly. 

I stared hard in his eyes, my defenses up out of old habit. "What makes you think I'm not happy?" 

Taichi shrugged and looked away as he sat cross legged in front of me on the floor. He looked uncomfortably and I could tell he was trying to find a way to not answer, as if he was afraid of how I'd take it if he gave me his reasons. 

I didn't like how uncomfortable he seemed to be so I ran a hand through my hair while I searched for a way to change the subject. Luckily Taichi did it for me. "Why don't you play another song?" 

For the next half an hour I continued to play before Taichi had spotted a board game and we got in to a game of that. It was a while later that Taichi had spotted the clock as his eyes grew twice as large. 

"Holly shit. That is not the time." He stood up in the middle of the second round of the game. 

I looked at the clock too and noted it to be eight. "Time to go, huh." I said feeling disappointed to be left in that quiet house again. 

He offered me a smile as he nodded and helped me stand from the floor we had been kneeling on while playing the game. "If you want," He began, "You can come. My parents won't mind having me bring a guest, in fact it'll help me with the excuse I'm going to use for being late, and I'm sure you don't want to spend the night alone." 

I thought of it for a moment. "You sure they won't mind." His eyes seemed to light up at the prospect that I was actually considering it. I suppose he thought I'd decline and had wondered if he only offered the notion to be nice but then common sense came in and reminded me of the cheerful look he wore. 

"Of course they won't mind. Coming?" I smiled. 

"Sure. Do I need to bring anything?" He shook his head. 

"Not unless you want to." Well, I hadn't wanted to. Nothing was needed to be brought and nothing I had been willing to take to a house of strangers either, so we left moments later. 

It took longer then I'd thought to get there and I was surprised, though I knew I shouldn't be since we had went to the same high school, to find that his parents house was near my old house. 

I felt my insecurities coming back to me as we took the elevator to his apartment. I found myself wishing I had a mirror so I could make sure I didn't have something smudged over my face or that my hair was not doing something athletic or maybe I was wearing something they'd thought was indecent. 

"May I ask?" Taichi said as the elevator opened and we stepped off it and walked towards his apartment door. "How you could have been in a band and sing in front of hundreds of people yet feel so nervous about meeting my folks?" 

I turned to him and gave him a confused look. "I'm not nervous." 

He raised an eyebrow to me. "Yeah right... It's kind of obvious, ya know. Your arms are wrapped around your stomach so tightly you're gonna get a bruise." I remember I had looked down and was surprised to find he was right. I let my arms drop to my sides and instantly wished I could curl them around myself again as we stopped in front of a door. 

"Meeting people and having detailed conversations with them is different then singing to a group of people you'll never see again." 

"Yeah, but if you mess up on stage a thousand people will see while only three will see if you mess up today." 

"But that's the thing about fans. If I'm on stage singing and I trip I'll give some joke to the event and they'll laugh and awe to me but if I do something stupid while talking to someone they'll think about what a klutz I am for the rest of the evening." 

A sorrowful look passed over his face as he took my arm, which had wrapped around my midsection again, and pulled it away. "Man. You need a confidence boost." I put my arms down at my side while raising my chin to try and look more confidence then I felt. "If it means anything, my families really nice." I gave him a smile but not so much for him but to test out how well I could fake one. 

I suppose it went well for he smiled back and turned to the door, and then opened it. He walked through and held it open for me. 

"I'm here!" Taichi shouted out. He swung the door shut and started kicking off his shoes while switching the plastic bag which held the chips and a few other things from one hand to the other. 

"Hello honey. We're in the living room." A women's voice shouted which I understood as a mother's. 

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow as he blushed. I smirked. "Honey?" 

He scowled and glared at me. "Like your mother doesn't call you something stupid like that." 

"Actually," I said, keeping the same laid back vocal expression, "She doesn't. I lived with my dad. My parents divorced." 

"Oh." He said; scowl still on his face but not as stern. "Coming!" He announced. I gently untied and removed my shoes then placed them neatly by the door. When I turned back to the brunet he held an expression on his face that simply said he didn't understand me. 

"What?" I asked. 

He shook his head as he sighed. "Nothing, nothing." 

"No, what?" 

"I said 'nothing'." He cupped my upper arm and pulled me towards the living room. "I told my parents I was bringing you so they'll want to meet you now anyways." 


	6. Beaten and Bruised

I don't own digimon

Beaten and Bruised

A large tanned hand cupped my right one, held it firmly and shook it twice. "Nice to meet you, Yamato." Mr. Yagami spoke in a deep husky voice. He was a tall man, clean shaven and well groomed, even though the tie that hung around his neck wasn't holding up to it's name.

His facial features were of a childlike manner. A large boyish grin painted his lips, his eyes held a childish mischief to them, and his forehead remained uncreased as though he had never known a troublesome day.

"Nice firm grip." Taichi's father said in way of a compliment. He retracted his arm and looped it around his wife's waist. Mrs. Yagami was fairer then her husband, though still darker then I. Her features were ones of maturity. Her eyes even displayed glimpses of wisdom. I knew when I first met her that she was the one who dealt with the family dramas.

"It really is nice to meet you." She spoke with delight. "It's good to finally have a face to go with a name."

The comment had surprised me some but I had chosen to ignore it for the time, so instead I decided to go with something else to say. A 'nice to meet you, too' perhaps it was going to be or something, maybe, not so generic. I'm not sure exactly what I had been planning, just that I wasn't given the time to say it.

"So, where's 'Kari?" Taichi said while clapping his hands together and keeping them clasped in front of him.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and noticed he did the same while looking more nervous then I. He probably thought I was about to question his mother about her nonchalant comment and was trying to change the subject before it was brought up.

"Here!" A third voice joined the short conversion of words.

The Yagami apartment wasn't all that large. The majority of Japan's apartments weren't that large, in fact, so really the Yagami apartment was pretty average in size.

When we first entered the apartment we had entered into a short hall that kept us separated from the rest of the residence. It was the only hall in the home, in fact. It had taken about five steps to walk out of the hall and meet my companion's parents.

To my left had been the kitchen. On the far left of the kitchen, if you're facing the door, was a rather large fridge. The counter beside the fridge circled the kitchen and had become the thing that separated that room from the dining room. A stove was placed on the far wall between two segments of counter.

The 'dining room' was just past the counter with a small circular table and four chairs. Carpet started just past that which indicated the living room. The living room held a large soft grey couch, a small soft grey love seat, and a lazy boy of the same color scheme. They all faced a large screen television.

On the right side of the apartment were three doors. When we had first entered the apartment all three had been shut but when Taichi had asked about his sister the middle one had opened and standing in the door way was, who I had rightfully assumed at the time, Hikari.

She offered me a wave and a smile as though she already knew me. It might not have been the most proper way to introduce someone into you're home, at least that's what her mother thought, I could tell when the women rolled her eyes while her daughter began to question Taichi about his punctuality, but I preferred the casualness of it.

"I just lost track of time." Taichi defended, a scowl upon his face while both arms crossed over his chest.

"Like usual." She said. "You know, people are starting to know you as 'Taichi The Late'. In fact, they already started shortening it to 'The Late'. People asking 'Is 'The Late' coming' and I have to say don't know where Taich is." She smiled teasingly at her brother as she gently closed her bedroom door behind her. She was a very pretty girl, with skin the same shade as her mother's and maturing looks.

Taichi's eyes had narrowed at his sibling while displaying both denial and irritation. He opened his mouth to say something but his father had halted any words that had lain upon the tip of the brunettes tongue.

"Tai, let it go. I don't want you two fighting." That was when they started moving into the living room. I felt Taichi place his hand on the small of my back to lead me in that direction as well.

Small goose bumps appeared on my arms at the intimate touch. Well, maybe it wasn't intimate. Maybe I was only romanticizing the action but none-the-less I felt a blush spread across my cheeks.

It was partly out of curiosity and partly to distract myself from the heat Taichi's hand had offered, that had me asking, "So, what movies are we going to watch."

Mrs. Yagami smiled at me warmly as she took a seat on the couch. Her husband was at the DVD player. "One's a comedy and one's a horror. I'm not sure what movies they are myself since my _secretive_ _husband_ wants it to be a surprise."

"Movies are better when you don't know what's going to happen. Advertisements give away too much." Mr. Yagami said while glancing at Taichi and I over his shoulder.

Taichi and I took a seat on the love couch, which was across from the lazy boy where Hikari sat. I watched as she pushed the button on the side of the seat so she could out stretch her legs. A second later I felt hot air on my ear and a voice whisper, "You don't have a problem with scary movies, do you?"

I turned my head to look at the brunette. "No, of course not." I lied

"Good," Taichi said and leaned back again, "'Cause I know what movie my dad got and it sure is scary."

I raised an eye brow at him while leaning back into the cushions of the couch. "You already saw it?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Dad and I saw it in theaters and it had me jumping out of my seat." Suddenly my throat seemed dry. I remember wanting to trade seats with Taichi since he was sitting slightly further from the TV then I, but not wanting to pose the question 'wanna trade seats' I stayed put.

"Really?" I said, trying to sound skeptical though I'm not sure if that was how it came out. He just smiled and nodded

Just then the TV came to life, the movie began to play and Hikari shut off the lights.

"Okay," Taichi whispered into my ear, "now." At the request I closed my eyes and listened to the deathly scream and Taichi's heartless chuckle at whatever was happening on screen.

At first, I admit, I was irritated by the brunette. I was watching the screen. A dark figure was stalking a man as he took his shortcut home through a park. It was dark out, probably past midnight. The man was drunk and was staggering more then he was walking. A shadow in the back kept two blue glass eyes watching his promising victim. It stretched out its hand to scratch the bark of a tree with its long nails. The skin upon its hand was decaying, muscle and bone had shown vividly.

The drunkard tripped over his own two feet and cursed his limbs for their incompetence. He struggled to his feet, failing twice, as the figure behind him grew closer. A deafening silence hung in the air. Raspy breathing could only be heard. The man finally was able to stand and stretched his hand out to a tree, expecting to feel rough cold bark against his skin but instead…

"Close your eyes." Came the demand, and I had, since my heart was already pumping my veins with fear. Just as I did, the agonizing screams of a man in pain echoed through the small home joined by a shocked gasp from the younger of the two females.

"It's okay now." Taichi said with a small laugh and I opened my eyes to learn that the gruesome scene was now done with.

I had then turned my gaze to the brunette and gave him a glare. I noticed the grin upon his face. "I didn't need a warning," I said hotly.

"It wasn't a warning, it was a suggestion. You didn't need to listen to it if you weren't scared." I turned around and glared at the television.

The next frightening spot there was, I had chosen not to heed his warning and watched instead. I screamed. Luckily it was muffled behind the brunette's large tanned hand. Tai had saved me from embarrassment and after that I grew grateful for his 'suggestions'.

The movie that had followed was pretty funny and gave my heart a break while exercising my stomach muscles. Also, no one watched that movie as intensely as they had watched the horror flick and spent a lot of the movie talking with each other as well.

Hikari had talked quite a bit about projects she was receiving in her classes and about teachers she thought acted weird, at least weirder then her high school teachers had been. Mr. Yagami and Taichi spoke enthusiastically about sports.

The close bond was obvious between the two which only had me yearning for a second chance with my father. When ever I started thinking about that sore subject Mrs. Yagami would butt in with a cute story of Taichi's childhood, or even of the clumsy things he did when he got his first place. Tai would whine a bit and protest some but I don't think he was really embarrassed about it.

A smile laced my lips as I watched the four, as if in slow motion, dispute with each other about certain happenings of an event. Hikari, across from me, laughed while shouting 'no, no. That's not what happened' over top of her father. The man in question was leaning forward in his seat while trying to offer the true events of that mentioned day. He glanced from me to his wife as she tapped him on his arm demanding he got the story right.

An affectionate smile was shared between the couple before offerings of a kiss. Protests from the siblings filled the air with Hikari shouting 'get a room'. I laughed and turned my attention to the brunette beside me.

He must have known my eyes were upon him because I found myself being held in his gaze not a second later. His eyes shimmered in the television light while he smiled that smile of his.

And like that, the world melted away and I swore it were only the two of us.

And I swore his leg moved that extra fraction of an inch closer to touch mine.

And I swore that his eyes displayed affection that I had never seen before, which made my stomach flutter and my heart melt.

It was wrong, I knew that. I shouldn't be having these feelings… I just couldn't remember why.

The night had drawn to an end a little after midnight and, after our farewells, Taichi and I were on our way.

The night was dark. Clouds covered the heavens and street lights did little to help my sight. I rested my head against the seat as I felt drowsiness kicking in and stared quietly out the window. The drive would be long and staying awake, I knew, would be a struggle.

I tried to focus my attention on objects past the window but couldn't make out anything through the darkness. I turned my head lazily to see if anything in the car would grab my attention but to no success. Finally I considered the harm of just resting my eyes for a second. _Only for a second_, I remember telling myself.

It was the jerking of the car that had me opening my eyes again. The first thing I noticed was that the car had stopped. The second was that I was home.

I straightened my posture in my seat and yawned. "Fell to sleep, did you?" Tai asked with a lop-sided grin on his face.

I shook my head sleepily. "No… Just," I yawned again, unable to stop myself, "shut my eyes for a second."

He gave a light hearted chuckle. "Sure."

I shook my head and looked at my house while trying to orientate myself. The house was rather lit up on the inside, something I wasn't expecting. "Yukio must be home." I stated before yawning again.

The cheerful expression Taichi held seemed to vanish from his face and was replaced with something else. Though I can't say for sure what it had been replaced with since I had only been just barely alert enough to notice a change at all. "Well, he must be waiting for you then."

I snorted. "I'm always waiting for him so it's about time he waits for me." I sigh and unbuckled my seat belt. "Tai… I had fun tonight. Thanks for inviting me. Your folks are great."

A wide smile spread across his face as his cheerful demeanor came back. "Glad you had fun, though you have to admit the scary movie really got to you."

I laughed lightly and turned to open the door while I hid the small smile that had come to my lips. "Good night, Taichi."

He clicked the lock button and said, "You can't leave till you admit it."

I shook my head and opened the door, the door unlocking the moment I pulled the handle. "'Night Tai."

I shut the door firmly and started heading across the lawn towards the house. I glanced back at the brunette and smiled at him. He smiled back but almost as fast as the smile had appeared it was gone and his eyes went wide. I stopped, wondering where the reaction was coming from and noticed he was looking past me.

I turned my attention ahead but the moment I had the front of my shirt was grabbed and I was jerked forward. I lost my balance and almost fell. I wish I had but instead I found myself dangling from the hand that held my shirt.

I heard the ripping of fabric and was jerked up right till I was on my feet an inch away from Yukio's face. One intake of breath and I found myself choking on the stench of alcohol. I placed my hands on his chest and tried to pull away but I couldn't.

"Where the _fuck_ do you think you've been all night?" I knew Yukio must have been rather drunk that night since he hardly ever swore. He thought swearing was demeaning to his intelligence.

I found myself stuttering out excuses while still trying to pull away but I didn't really know what to say. Now I didn't only feel guilty for taking Taichi up on his offer but I also felt scared of the consequences.

Movement out of the corner of my eye grabbed my attention and I turned to notice Taichi was now standing next to me. He placed his hand on Yukio's, the one that held my shirt, and glared at my boyfriend with ice in his eyes.

"Don't do something stupid," Taichi said, his voice low and dangerous, "Let him go."

On request Yukio had… and turned his fury to the brunette. "_You_." Venom was laced in his voice. Loathing was evident in every letter of that simple word.

I took a shaky step back, still frightened of the anger I had heard in Yukio's voice and now shocked by Taichi's as well. I lifted my hand and placed it against my chest to try and calm my speeding heart.

"_You_ t_hink_ _you can come to **my house** and touch **my things**,_" Yukio spat and gestured with his head to me. At first I wasn't sure what Yukio was talking about. I figured that Yukio must have seen all the empty food boxes and knew I hadn't eaten alone but I wasn't sure what he meant by touching 'his things'. Nothing was broken and they were my things as well… Of course, at the time, I wasn't thinking straight.

"Your things!" Tai exclaimed. The chill in his eyes grew colder. He balled his fists and I hitched my breath waiting for Taichi to throw the first punch. "_I knew you were no good the moment I met you. Hypocrite._" The words slithered out through clenched teeth and were meant to bite.

I must have blinked. It must have happened so fast. I'm not sure what happened… not true. I know what happened; I just want to say it didn't because the next thing I remember was Tai on the ground with a bleeding lip.

My hands were at my lips; my brain was shouting to go over and see if he was alright but it was like my feet were tied to the ground. I couldn't move…

Tai brought his hand to his lip and wiped the blood away. It smeared across his cheek. He knew he was bleeding. He could feel it. I knew he could. He narrowed his eyes on the other who held not the slightest bit of remorse.

In one swift move Tai was on his feet, swinging his right fist then his left. The right fist collided with Yukio's left cheek bone, his head snapped back, and he fell off balance and onto the grass. The left fist missed its target and brought Taichi forward and onto his knees.

Anger still powered the brunette while I stood there like a statue and watched as he walked on his knees to the other man. Yukio sat up, blood covered his left cheek, and reached out to Tai's neck as the brunette got close. Hands encircled Tai's throat and pushed him back until he was against the cold hard ground.

Taichi struggled against his oppressor, his tan hands pulling at the fingers restricting his air flow. A flash of light lit in the clouded sky, casting shadows upon the two men in front of me. Shadows that lit all the wrong places on each of the men's faces. Shadows that made them look mad.

Many miles above the ground a drop of water formed and grew far too heavy to remain levitated, so it fell. It passed through freezing air; a layer of ice began to form but as winds began to blow more warmly the bit of ice that was there vanished. The water it was made from expanded as the drop grew heavier and, actually, split in two.

Closer to the ground they came, dropping faster and faster again. Still cold, they splattered against my forehead, one after the next, which woke me from my shocked trance.

"STOP!" I shouted. My feet were freed from their invisible restraints and I ran forward to pull my boyfriend away from the one he was killing.

Porch lights from the houses along the block lit as the neighbors woke and came to see what the hassle was.

"STOP IT!" I shouted again. "You're killing him!" Yukio fell off balance as I pulled at his shirt which gave Taichi a chance to catch a breath, a ragged breath that made him cough, but a breath none-the-less.

A growl game from Yukio's throat as he glanced at me over his shoulder while I was trying to pull him off of Tai. Yukio's one hand went back to Taichi's throat while the other was placed against my stomach while he pushed as hard as he could to get me away.

I fell back as it began to rain harder. "STOP IT!" I screamed, panic taking hold of my insides, twisting my stomach and making me feel sick. Forward, again, I went and wrapped my arms around Yukio's throat and pulled him back. My boyfriend finally let go of Tai and tried to free himself from me.

His hands grabbed my forearms and pulled them away from his neck. He held onto them so firmly I knew they'd be bruised. He kept my arms in his clasp as he turned and stood over me while I kneeled in the mud.

I heard Tai coughing and wheezing and glanced past Yukio to see the other kneeling and trying to regain his breath. The rain was matting all that brown hair to his head and his shirt was clinging to his torso.

Yukio began gripping my forearms harder which brought me back to my predicament. I squeezed my eyes shut as tears stung at the corners of them. "Please, Yukio?" I pleaded quietly. "Tai and I… we didn't do anything. I went to his parents. We watched a movie. That was it." I took a breath as I felt a knot forming in my throat when I heard my boyfriend snort. "I was lonely and just wanted to be with someone… nothing happened."

I felt Yukio lowering my arms and opened my eyes to see him crouching in front of me. "Do you know what time it is?" He said in a rough whisper. "How do you expect me to believe that?"

"You're _always_ back later then this." I said to try and show the fault in his reasons but instead his face grew stern and he let one of my arms go and slapped me. My face turned with the impact and stung furiously.

I raised a hand and touched the sore side lightly with the tips of my fingers while the earlier shock returned. I knew he couldn't have meant that. I knew that he must feel awful for hitting me. I mean, Yukio was just drunk and angry. _He's not thinking_.

I slowly dared myself to look at him, knowing I'd see sorrow and guilt plastered upon his tanned face… Hoping I'd see sorrow and guilt, but when I found myself staring upon the face of my partner, I was surprised to see he wasn't staring back. In stead his attention was drawn behind him.

"No. Tai." I said as I saw what he was going to do, though my voice was hitched and the words came out so softly that I barely heard them myself. Tai grabbed Yukio's shirt and pulled so roughly that the material was ripped and the sleeve had nearly torn off.

Yukio fell back, letting me go in the process, and was dragged across the lawn by his shirt and away from me. Mud covered his white dress shirt that he wore to the office and I found it odd to see him in such dishevel.

Tai wasn't in any better of shape; with mud covering his clothing, blood streaking his cheek though now being washed away by the rain, and bruises along his neck dark enough for me to see with the dim light coming through the windows of the house and from the open door.

My sore arms encircled my mid section and the acid in my stomach burned and I could almost feel it trying to rise though my throat as the night grew worse.

Yukio reached for the arm holding his shirt and squeezed it, while digging his short nails into the other man's skin until Taichi was forced to let go. Yukio wasted no time getting to his feet and faced the other, though was brought to his knees as soon as he had.

Tai had aimed an uppercut punch into Yukio's stomach and when the other fell to his knees Tai kneed him in the face.

I'm not so sure what happened then. I know they fought some more. Tai fought for me while Yukio fought out of pure rage and drunken stupidity, but I couldn't describe anymore of the violence, though I'm sure you probably don't want to know any more details then you already do.

I do remember how they looked when they were done, beaten and bruised, nothing serious I'm sure, since the police would have called an ambulance.

I assume one of the watching neighbors had called the police, and in a way I'm glad since I'm not sure how bad it could have gotten if someone didn't stop it. Still I hated watching my boyfriend and Taichi being put in two separate cars, bloodied and bruised, the way they were. Neither of the men looked at me. They were both avoiding it. I could tell.

The police had asked me if I was alright and, when I nodded, they left. I remained on my front lawn for a while after that, listening to the sirens fading into the distance and watching as the rain removed any of the evidence that such a night had happened.

One or two of the neighbors had come to ask if I was alright as well but besides from that I was left to myself outside. Lights from the surrounding houses turned off and I was left in the glow of my own home.

I never felt so alone as I did then.

A/N: Okay… so that didn't take too long to get out, did it? ; Sorry for the delay. I couldn't figure out how to have Yamato meet the parents. I tried over and over again and each time I grew bored just writing it so I gave up. Recently, though, I read a review and inspiration came to me and I thought about it. I realized the best way to make the 'meet the parents' scene not so boring is to have a few areas skip in time. It worked and I like it better this way now. So, really the only reason why I continued writing was because of a review I got recently.


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